Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label inspiration. Show all posts
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Thursday Loves




"Light As A Feather Abstract" - Art Print by Melanie Biehle in beautiful frame options and a variety of sizes.
Hello again, poodles.

Focusing on the good, here is a little bit of what I've been loving lately.

The artist Melanie Biehle's work (the piece above is called "Light as a Feather")

➕putting on warm socks right out of the dryer (seriously, try this)


➕The show, Ramy on Hulu is a really beautiful, funny and smart. As long as we're on TV suggestions, I'll add High Maintenance, Better Things and PEN15 to the list. SO good.

having the arrow turn green right as you pull up to turn left

taking off my bra

➕the Bridge on Sirius XM

Pilates

a really great phlebotomist

my relationship with my siblings

a yoga class called Stretch & Relax

being alone 
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These days...

Hello peanuts. 
Happy New Year! 
I hope you are settling in nicely to 2015. 
I don't make resolutions. I'm not a planner or long term goal setter. I don't know if its my personality or that I'm usually just trying to make it through the day. Perhaps both. I do love to read other people's though!

I saw this list on DesignCrush and unapologetically stole it. 

Making : lots and lots of piles
Cooking : rarely
Drinking : water - warm with lemon or ice cold.
Reading : Essay collections! The Unspeakable by Meghan Daum, Bad Feminist by Roxane Gay and One More Thing by BJ Novak
Wanting : to feel better
Obsessing: over puzzles, still. 
Looking : for the silver lining in chronic illness 
Playing : music to lift from the sickie sadness and winter doldrums
Wishing : that I was a young hooligan so I could make it to the 10:30 show of BROAD CITY LIVE at the Bluebird.
Enjoying : my family
Waiting : for The District's new album to come out
Liking : that Finn plays online games with Becca's (Old Same!) son. They hoot and holler on their headsets and it warms my heart.
Wondering : if I should straighten my hair
Loving : the age of my children currently (10 & 12)
Pondering : what H & F will be when they grow up
Considering : double and triple piercing my ears with my 12 year old
Watching : Miss Fisher's Murder Mysteries on Netflix
Hoping : that I'm raising good people
Marveling : at HJ's bright pink hair. (This is us Xmas morning.)

Needing : to go grocery shopping
Smelling : like peppermint
Wearing : various versions of the "fancy sweatpant" that's all the rage, not styling it though, just a tank and no bra. #classy
Following : all orders given to me by my doc, like a good little patient. 
Wanting : to be at a beach
Noticing : that I'm getting stronger physically (go Pilates!)
Knowing : other people's opinions don't matter
Thinking : about how much I adore my mama
Feeling : fortunate
Admiring : people who make their creativity a priority
Sorting : various stupid paperwork on my desk
Buying : books!
Getting : into Pilates 
Bookmarking : vegan recipes, true crime articles
Disliking : eggshells in the sink 
Feeling : fuzzy headed
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Distracted

girls

Remember this scene from GIRLS this season? Episode 4, I think. Hannah and Jessa were in the tub together and Jessa was crying after her breakup with Thomas John.

It was a beautiful scene. But here was my issue.

That tub is filthy.

Like Did-someone-break-into-your-house-and-paint-excrement-on-the-grout? filthy.

In fact, while watching this scene, I was so distracted by the filth of the tub that I started thinking about how I would clean it. (Which makes me a TOTAL ma’am, I’m aware. I’m officially old.)

Here’s the tape that played in my head:

“Bleach would be involved for sure. And I would totally use one of those CLOROX bleach pen things I’m in love with that you use to bleach grout. It’s wildly satisfying. And so precise! I love the feeling of accomplishment you feel after. I cannot believe they are sitting in that tub? Would I have sat in a tub that dirty in my 20s? I’m sure I did. Wow, that’s really gross.”

Credits role.

DAMN! I missed the whole scene.

Rewind.

Do not be distracted. Do not be distracted.

Distracted again! That nasty tile sucks me in every time.

I had to watch the scene 3 times. And I loved it.

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In Praise of My Bed

calmbedroom2

                                (pic source unknown)

 

In Praise of My Bed

by Meredith Holmes

 

At last I can be with you

The grinding hours

since I left your side!

The labor of being fully human,

working my opposable thumb,

talking, and walking upright.

Now I have unclasped

unzipped, stepped out of.

Husked, soft, a be-er only,

I do nothing, but point

my bare feet into your

clean smoothness

feel your quiet strength

the whole length of my body.

I close my eyes, hear myself

moan, so grateful to be held this way.

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WWPD

I admit, when I read “Just Kids” it was strangely life altering. I fell in love with Patti Smith. She’s a bad ass. No doubt. Strong and brave and fearless and smart and ferociously talented. I want to be her when I grow up.

When I see pictures of her, I take a deep breath and slowly exhale while studying every detail.

This site, fantastically named “Awesome People Hanging Out Together” has been mentioned everywhere lately. Have you seen it? It’s sublime.

This picture stopped me in my tracks, of course. Patti and William S.Burroughs? Yes, please. Look how he’s holding her arm. Good stuff.

pattiwilliam

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Altering

A few weeks ago, I had the entire interior painted Benjamin Moore’s Balboa Mist and I swear my blood pressure has lowered. It’s glorious. Restful and calm and beautiful. Light enough to look white but not as stark. I also had them paint the bannister black, which looks crisp and sharp. (Plain oak is the enemy!)

When the painters were here I was STILL frantically getting down wallpaper in the kitchen so they could paint. (I’m one of those people who literally needs a fire under my ass to get things done.) The result is nothing short of miraculous. Well, maybe not miraculous, because shit’s not totally done (kitchen) and the fruit tile still taunts me but a HELL of a lot better. I was terribly proud of myself for not half assing the area behind the refrigerator and just letting them paint over the paper, because “no one sees it.” I joked that now we can pull out the refrigerator and have drinks back there because it looks so good!

Peter and I even pulled down 3 cabinets and replaced them with LACK shelving from IKEA for open shelves!

This whole process of rethinking and refining our space has been incredibly liberating and creatively fulfilling.

Karrie was here a few weeks ago and I’m still mourning her departure. She’s one of those people you love being around because, in addition to being funny, smart, super creative and loving, she makes you feel like a better version of yourself. I love to hear her opinion and her take on things. It’s always colorful (literally and figuratively), thoughtful and interesting.

5-southafricandesign

How killer are those chairs? We picked up two of them with the gray seat and paired them with the IKEA Docksta table in the kitchen.They are art, I tell you. Sometimes I just pull one out and run my fingers along the smooth wood and stare at the intricate webbing of the seat while whispering sweet nothings. Love does not even do a good enough job of describing how I feel about these chairs.

I’ll post pictures tomorrow. I’m currently laying on a heating pad in bed. I’m flaring like a mofo and NOT happy about it. It’s been going on for weeks. Plus, my children are on Fall Break. Crappy combo.

Karrie has a few posts about her visit and some fabric choices on her blog, Happy Habitat.

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Goodness

Untitled Yellow 2010 b

I haven’t been blogging my darlings. Laziness, I suspect and a bit of constricting writer’s block. Well, not writer’s block but “oh who cares about that? block”. Anything interesting I would just throw up on Facebook or just ignore it.

School is in full swing, which is GLORIOUS. (Typing that just reminded me of Laura Branigan’s song GLORIA, so now that will be stuck in both of our heads. You’re Welcome.)

Things making me really happy:

  • We’re going to The Broadmoor Labor Day weekend for a night. I just up and booked it. Have wanted to do it for forever and just hadn’t done it. We’re going to go to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo first, then check in, go to the pool and Peter and I are going to lie in beach chair sipping cocktails while our kids frolic. Then we’re going to grab dinner and explore the grounds. I promised Hadley we’d have breakfast in bed via room service, which she is super excited about. As am I. Of course, now that I’ve mapped all of this out and have expectations, none of it will happen.

  • This article about Tavi and Ira. Hearts and rainbows were shooting out of my head when I was reading it. I love them both.

 

  • I’ve almost gotten all of the wallpaper down from the kitchen!!!! This is HUGE, you guys. Or as Donald Trump would say “Youge.” It’s been more than a year that the wallpaper has remained partway torn down. It’s just hard and really high up all over the kitchen…and life gets in the way. And I’m lazy.  Look.

LivingRoom&Kitchen 020

See? Makes. Me. Murderous. Those are potted plants. But now it’s GONE! I have big plans. And that gross light is gone. And the table is on it’s way out.

 

LivingRoom&Kitchen 026

You know what else drives me batty? TILE. It’s everywhere. All kitchen and bathrooms have this tile. ARGH. AND…your eyes do not deceive you. That green and beige border tile? It has fruit on it. Yes. Fruit. Hideous.

BUT! There is hope. My lovely Karrie of Happy Habitat is going to come save the day and consult me on what to do to my house décor wise. (No pressure, Kar.) She has the greatest eye.

  • And last but certainly not least… We saw The Book of Mormon!!! Tickets sold out in 4 hours and I was on 2 phones and 2 computers to make sure I got them. It did NOT disappoint.  It’s everything everyone says it is and more. It just is. Perfectly profane and funny and smart. We saw a matinee and I just wanted to line back up and see the 7pm show.

Happy day to you, noodles. To combat my fierce PMS, I’m going to get some sun on my face and blare pop music as I run errands. Wish me luck.

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March VOGUE

I’m not even halfway through the March issue but I found myself scribbling notes on college lined paper at the kitchen table.

I smiled while doing it.

I miss writing longhand. I like to write in cursive with a really great pen.


So, here I sit transcribing my notes into a blog post. Funny. It reminds me of college when I would take scraps and bits of paper I had scribbled ideas for short stories on and turn them into something.

 

Adele is on the cover, looking gorgeous, per usual. (Although, I wish they hadn’t photo shopped her body on the cover. We know she doesn’t have a 20 inch waist, people. And it’s ok. )

adele-vogue-march-2012 

She is, as you would guess, a great interview, full of vim and vigor. The interview validates why she is so astonishing. She’s brutally honest and claims she really has no idea where all of these beautiful songs come from. They just pour out of her. That type of honesty is inspiring and beautiful. She doesn’t talk about “the craft” or other such bullshit nonsense. She just is. Also, how cool is the fact that Rolling in the Deep came from a gang phrase used in UK? “Roll deep” basically means having someone have your back so you are never on your own if you get into trouble. She thought it was beautiful and changed it to “Rolling in the Deep.” Genius.

“Adele has one of the great dirty mouths of her generation. Get her going on a subject that raises her ire, and the obscenities fly like sparks off a welder.” –Jonathan Van Meter, Adele interview, VOGUE

“…Like sparks off a welder.”  So good.

:::::::

The piece by Cheryl Strayed about her trek on the Pacific Crest Trail has me wanting to rush out and get her memoir: “Wild: From Lost to Found on The Pacific Crest Trail.”

I’m not a climber or really interested in it. It is her writing and her reasons for doing it that intrigued me. She had never backpacked before going on the trip. NEVER. That’s like me deciding to freaking hike the PCT (which, incidentally, took her 3 months and is 1,100 miles. WTF!) And very clearly, she finds herself needing to do it.

My mom died when I was twenty-two and she was forty-five. She died of cancer, but it wasn’t the way I thought a death by cancer would be—long and drawn out and cinematic. Instead, my mother was dead seven weeks to the day after her diagnosis. Her death was simple and ugly and it didn’t feel even remotely like a movie. It felt to me that I had died with her, and in some ways, I did. The vision I’d previously had of my life died. I don’t have a relationship with my biological father and though I had a step-father, he couldn’t continue being a step-father to me in the face of his own loss. And so I wandered forth, suddenly an orphan. – Cheryl Strayed

I understand why she did it with no experience. Why not? After a blow like that, you feel invincible. Not the invincible I felt after giving birth to H&F. That was empowering and invigorating. I felt so STRONG!

My Dad’s death left me numb. Nothing could hurt me.

When talking about her decision to make the trek, Cheryl Strayed says “Nothing bad could happen to me, I thought. The worst thing already had.”

This resonated so deeply with me, that I actually stopped reading for a second to look up, close my mouth and let that thought marinate.

I felt and feel the same way about my dad’s death. It was worse than breast cancer, depression, lupus…His death rocked me to my core. There is definitely a sense of “Nothing scares me now.”

:::::::

And a final thought on the issue: Florence Broadhurst for Kate Spade? Fan-freaking-tastic. A beautiful marriage!

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Showing Up

Hello snowflakes.

I’m so much better.

Oh so much better.

I’m me again. Maybe better. Brighter? Definitely.

It was like a reboot of sorts. Incredibly painful and sucky but I got through it, dammit.

I am badass. Hear me roar.

I feel beyond lucky to have such supportive friends and family. Where would I be without you?

Coinciding with my climb out of the hole of depression is my extreme inspiration from, seemingly everything:

  • The endless sky.
  • Music – specifically Lenka and Robyn, which have been pulsing from anything that would play music so loud that I could feel it in my skin, letting it seep into my pores and brighten my soul. It works. I swear.
  • Art – nothing specific, in fact, most of it is nameless. Graffiti here and there, a well styled print ad, the guy at the bagel shop’s tattoos.
  • Books! (exclamation mark intended and necessary) I read Visit from the Goon Squad and Just Kids in the span of 2 weeks and was blown away. I highly recommend both. The story in Goon Squad was creatively woven, I was in a constant state of awe of Jennifer Egan’s talent. Just Kids will stay with me for a good long while. It was intoxicating and ignited somewhat of a creative explosion in my brain. I see things differently after having read it, if that makes sense.  I’m itching to press the book I love so much into the hands of my sister, whom I love so much, knowing she’ll adore it too.
  • PGP, HJ and Finny P. Everything I am, I owe to them. They encourage me to “just show up.”

Here’s to more happy days!

xo

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Keeping It Low Key…Still

Ok, so I had my 2 week follow up appointment with my surgeon today and he assured me everything I am going through is normal. This was validating and I’m sure you can imagine what I had been imagining. Or maybe you can’t. It was dramatic, people.

Upon entering the exam room he said “So, how are we doing?”

Eloquent 38 year old that I am, I said “You didn’t tell me it would suck this bad.”

He laughed uncomfortably.

I’m in a better place mentally though, in less pain..sort of, and have updated my expectation management software to the current (and more realistic) version.

Can I just take a moment to recognize Peter Provost? The guy is a champ. Truly. And I would have been committed to the loony bin had it not been for him these last few weeks. The guy’s phenomenal under pressure. I will miss him being my driver, personal assistant and all around sherpa.

So, I stumbled up on the following advice last year and like a good little nerd, I copied it and put it in my calendar on 12/5/11 with the header “EMILY: READ THIS”. (I love when I do stuff like that) Imagine my delight when I opened it and read what fits PERFECTLY into my desire to “keep it low key”

Enjoy.

(via Blooma Blog – I’m sorry I don’t have the link and now I can’t find it!)


Be in charge of your holiday season. Don't let other people or advertising medium impose their expectations on you. Keep in touch with your deepest feelings.


• Keep it simple. You arrange the pace and space. (So important for keeping your kids sane, too!)
• If the loss of a loved one, financial troubles, or any serious anxiety surround you this holiday, make the season as simple and as positive as possible for yourself.

Holiday Bill of Rights:
• You have the right to take care of yourself: eat right, exercise, and get enough rest.
• You have the right to mixed emotions: happy, sad, frustrated, guilty, afraid, and thankful.
• You have the right to solitude—for planning, thinking, reflection, introspection, prayer, and relaxation.
• You have the right not to accept party or dinner invitations.

So good, right?

Our darling tree is up. A lovely wreath is on the front door. We play Christmas music every day and talk about the excitement of Christmas. I have a few activities planned (Botanic Gardens lights & Denver Gay Men’s Chorus Christmas Show) but other than that, we’re keeping it…say it with me…LOW KEY. And I couldn’t be more delighted.

Sending you some zen and coziness on this lovely Tuesday.

XO

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Enter: Reality

Ok, so it turns out I’m a bit of an unrealistic psycho. (shocker, I know.)

It has been one week and 2 days since surgery. I have been diligently conferring with my Dr., whom you may know, Dr. Google, and he agreed that I am an unrealistic psycho and that I need PATIENCE and TIME. This pain is normal. SUCKY but normal and I must be tender and careful with myself.

I knew this.

But Dr. Google has a way of solidifying things, you know? (Word to the wise though, Dr. Google has some patients who are not the kooky, fun kind of psycho (me), who tried to tell me that they had disc surgery too and I was going to end up alone, in a wheelchair, never to walk again, like them. And that we should start a book club.

NEXT!

Ok. Patience. Got it. Will work on that.

In the meantime, I have a confession. I cannot understand or fathom, and am actually quite embarrassed to tell you this.

I watched not one, but TWO seasons, all in a row, of Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders: Making the Team last night. I stayed up until 1am.

Friends, What. The. Fug? My intention was to watch Melancholia but at the last minute I deemed it, well, melancholic and searched for something mindless.

BINGO!

I’m telling you. I can’t look away. Trying to armchair psychoanalyze myself, the only thing I could come up with was that I grew up in Houston, Texas. When I was little I wanted to be a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader (the pinnacle of success and beauty – eek gad) or a waitress. BIG DREAMS!! Whatevs. I was like, 6.

Happy happy Friday. Don’t let the holiday crazies grab hold of you. Remember….keep it low key.

gentle movements, peace and pain pills,

Emily

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Low Key

Hi kids.

Sigh.

It’s been a while.

I had surgery last week on a herniated disc that has been plaguing me for YEARS. It had just progressively gotten worse and the solutions (injections, PT were doing NADA) so I said “fuck it. do surgery” and proceeded to schedule it for the day before Thanksgiving.

It’s called a minimally invasive lumbar discectomy. Basically, they put me under, make a small incision, cut out the herniated disc part, move the nerve that is unhappy to a happier place and stitch me back up. It was supposed to be outpatient but they couldn’t get my pain under control (awesome!) to send me home so I was admitted for the night.

I am currently in the recovery part, which I hadn’t anticipated would suck balls. There isn’t relief, yet. It’s supposed to come eventually, but of course, Debbie Downer infiltrates my brain and convinces me that there will be no difference. The doc says it will take 6-8 weeks to notice the full difference. It’s been 1 week.

For two weeks there is to be: no bending, lifting or twisting. No lifting anything over 10 lbs. No driving. I can walk all I want, which I have been doing, when I haven’t been sleeping because I’m more tired than I’ve ever been. Add in pain pills and it ain’t pretty.

Yesterday I had a total pity party. Poor Peter. He works from home, so from time to time, I would just show up in his office, shoulders slumped with frowny, borderline cry face on.

Patience, he would say. You’re doing great.

It’s hard to be patient when Christmas buzz whirrs around me and everyone is rushing and talking about how much they have to do! So much to do!

And there’s me.

The turtle.

I know it’s all doable.

And it’s not a race.

My mantra for this month is to keep it low key. Imagine my delight when I received an email from MCA Denver yesterday with this picture attached.

MCADenver

Seriously?

FAB-U-LOUS. (I heart the beautiful naked guy in the grocery cart)

I love it and want it to be our Christmas card. I’m not sending those, by the way. Christmas cards. It’s not low key. Wouldn’t want to mess with the theme.

I just finished Mindy Kaling’s Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me? (And Other Concerns) thereby cementing the fact that she and I need to be friends. It’s a quick and super hilarious read.

Today, I will be good to myself. And no pity parties. And maybe I’ll shower. Maybe.

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Still

Santa Fe with my Mom and sister to celebrate my mom’s 70th birthday was so lovely. We ate really amazing food, chatted, meandered and were just together, which my mom said was the best gift.

I agree. It is so rare to be able to spend that much time together with no agenda. Snapping pics just didn’t seem to be a priority but we did get one good one.

005 - Copy

Seeing the Georgia O’Keefe museum was a highlight. Wasn’t she an inspirational bad ass? I’m not a huge fan of her work but man, I love her spirit. I bought a little card that has a picture of her on the back of a motorcycle. The look on her face and something in her eyes spoke to me. Yet another reminder to drink up this rich life and live the way you want to live.

getimage 

Feeling run down post trip, which was expected.

“Move slowly” I tell myself. “Take your time. Not everything will get done.”

I want to hibernate, be still, and not talk. That’s a difficult task in this busy life.

And yet, I try.

conradroset

Love this piece by Conrad Roset found via ffffound. Isn’t it beautiful?

Happy Thursday, lovers.

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Good Times

Good morning Glories!

Well technically, it’s 11:30, but whatever.

My sister and I are taking our Mom to Santa Fe this weekend to celebrate her 70th birthday. To say I am excited is an understatement. I am elated to be free of dependents and spend time catching up with these lovely Padden women.

Shaking things up creatively in my life has gone well, aside from an injury. (OF COURSE, you say, because this woman is full of dramatic medical garbage)

HJ and I started English riding and it RULES! I love giving up control, being in a situation where I have NO idea what I am doing, and having the instructor tell me what to do. She literally stand in the middle of the ring and says things like “HEELS DOWN, EMILY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR ARMS?” That may sound scary to most, but I was craving it. I’m in so much control in my life (the mama knows all!) that to not have it is liberating. I completely disregarded the fact that the other 3 people in my lesson at times are 9 year old girls. I don’t care. Their moms, who are my age, lean on the gate chatting while drinking lattes and carefully watching.

I don’t care. Let them wonder what the fuck this middle aged woman is doing learning how to ride.

Learning something new is exhilarating and empowering. And don’t even get me started on being around the horses. They are the ultimate. So beautiful and soft. Each with their own personality and likes and dislikes. There is SO much manual work involved with riding that takes the feeling of satisfaction to the next level. It’s dirty, hard work. And so worth it. I am spent after our 1 hour lesson, which is actually more like 2+hours when you factor in tacking your horse and untacking (is that a word?) after the lesson.

I adore being with Hadley as well. We chat the whole way home about our wonderful lesson and sometimes stop for dinner, just us. I’ve said more than once “If you’re embarrassed to have your mom in your lesson, just let me know.” She assures me she loves having me there. My heart swells after each lesson, when she leans in close to the horse and thanks him for letting her ride him. Oh my sweet rare bird.

Now, to the injury part.

I have had back/disc issues since 2007. I herniated a disc, then reinjured it in 2009 after a particularly dramatic roller skating fall. (Where I swear, my innards were rearranged.) And now, while learning how to post in English riding (the act of basically standing up and down on the horse – lots of leg/thigh work) and being new to it, LOTS of bouncing up and down, I have reinjured myself. Can’t get into the spine doc until November 3 or something. So, riding is on the backburner until now and the pain can be excruciating. Here’s the rub: The pain subsides with pain meds. However, the pain meds turn my mind and body to jelly. Now, at times, that is lovely and I do mean lovely. But for the majority of my day, I can’t be jacked up on Percocet. Plus, I like to be clear headed.

In short, it sucks. But whatever. Life could be so much worse. Focus on the positive, girl.

I’m still working my way through Keri Smith’s Wreck This Journal, although very slowly. I had a delightful time actually chewing on a page. Funny.

The Mindful Life Yoga For Kids training I did in September was stellar. STELLUH. I highly recommend it, even if you don’t end up teaching. Upcoming trainings are in Portland and Miami. The training itself let loose my inner child, which was immense fun and made me think about things from a completely different perspective. The director of the program, Kristen Race, is SO knowledgeable (she calls herself a “brain nerd” because she loves learning about the brain – love it) as well as being super cool. I also am seriously contemplating somehow teaching this wonderful method, although my life keeps getting in the way. To be continued...

I finally got my knipple tattoos, y’all! Yes, I did. My bubbies are complete! I put it off out of sheer laziness and because it is spendy. ($800 – covered by insurance but we all know how long it takes them to reimburse you) They look really really good, friends. I mean, they look real! I was and am blown away. The woman who did it had lots of interesting stories. She used to be a makeup artist in Hollywood and was very skilled. She looked at my skin tone and decided upon a color palette. It was all very interesting. Although, I cringed every time she pronounced “areola.” She kept saying “arEEla.” Don’t you think you should get word down as it is the majority of your work?

I digress.

It took about 3 hours to do but we chatted away the entire time and it was dare I say, fun? It didn’t hurt, as I have no sensation but later I felt twinges in my armpit or lower chest. Perhaps nerves that had reattached themselves. I would show you if you were here. I really would. I have long since gotten over the uncomfortable look on people’s faces when I say “You wanna see??” and lift my shirt before they have time to answer. That never gets old.

Let’s see. What else?

I’m reading The Space Between Us and it is beyond fantastic. Really beautiful writing and interesting characters. I find myself dreaming of when I can sneak away to read, a feeling I adore.

I’ve been listening to Beirut’s new album, The Rip Tide, almost constantly and I’m loving it.

I hope your Friday has a little bit of joy sprinkled in somewhere. I’m making pumpkin bread, packing for Santa Fe and staying in my pajamas all day.

XO

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“We read to know we are not alone.”–C.S. Lewis

If you ask me to describe my mom, one of the first things I would tell you is that she’s a reader. A voracious reader. She always has been. We were a family of readers with books everywhere, trips to the library and trips to the bookstore being especially magical because we could keep that book forever.

She’s always been a writer too. A fact she would dispute by the way, but she is a writer, and a wonderful one at that. I’ve said FOR YEARS that she should submit something or try to get published or even just write for her own enjoyment but she never did. But recently she submitted an essay to a magazine asking “What does reading mean to you?”

This is what she had to say:

I can see the library shelf in my mind even now. Biographies were on the bottom rack of the children’s section in the library in Milwaukee, Wisconsin on North Avenue near Lisbon. It was 1951 and I was nine almost ten. My mother had finally allowed me to walk the mile to the library by myself. She didn’t drive. I will never forget the thrill of that walk and discovering the joy of my life, reading.

The books in the biography series were all in orange covers and arranged alphabetically. Jane Adams was the first. She was an aware and influential woman who started the Chicago Community Center, Hull House. I LOVED the book, and years later became a social worker partly because of that book and her beliefs. At home my mother put all the books she thought were too “adult” for me on the top of our bookshelf. I got a stepstool and stretched carefully to get GONE WITH THE WIND down to read. She found out when I was about halfway through and reluctantly allowed me to finish it. Thanks, Mom. It was great. I saw “damn” in print even though I never heard it at home.

I loved reading from the moment I first learned about Dick, Jane, Sally and Spot. I was reprimanded for not coming to the dinner table on time, and would walk slowly while holding a book to my face. I was told I couldn’t read at the table so I would carefully place a bookmark to mark my page and eat quickly. I used to read late at night and my mother would invariably discover me under the covers with a flashlight so the light wouldn’t be seen from under my door. She was a kindred spirit as she would say, “Stop at the end of this chapter, Ellen”.

Through my wonderful book club which I have enjoyed for 25 years I have read all types and varieties of the written word I might not have chosen for myself, but am so glad that I have read. We call ourselves “Ladies of the Club” like the famous book by Helen Santmyer that took her 50 years to write. When we started in the late 1980’s we all had teenagers, and through the years we have shared our joys such as our children’s marriages and grandchildren, our hardships of personal illnesses and those of our spouses, and sorrow over the deaths of a spouse and one of our own dear members.

What I really know about reading is that it has sustained me, entertained me, lifted my soul, broadened me, and it has become my best friend. I plan books to take on vacation before buying a new outfit. I don’t even have to go on vacation…I can read about it and transport myself, quite the benefit in these economic times!

I commented on Meg’s blog (because she posted mom’s essay too) that my mom’s writing is so rich and warm, filled with fantastic details and a unique voice. If this essay isn’t enough to convince you, I’ve saved the majority of the emails she has sent me over the years as well as a TON of the letters sent to me in college. You’re welcome to come over and read them.

My mom rules and I’m grateful every day that she’s mine.

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Living a Little

Bonjour Peanuts,

In my constant quest to seek out the extraordinary and do things that challenge me, it occurred to me that I haven’t been doing much seeking or anything challenging lately. So, I decided to change that.

I struggle with exercising my creativity (I guess this blog is one way to express myself creatively, but you get my meaning) so I took a baby step and got this book by the awesome Keri Smith.

 

I’m actually having a harder time with it than I thought. My “perfectionistic tendencies” are surfacing for sure. The first page says to stand on the page and mark it up. With your shoes on. That could possibly be dirty!

I did it. And it felt oddly liberating. I daintily stepped on the page and left a little dust mark. (note to self: do over)

Hadley read through the copy when I first got it (I told her not to tell me any of the pages) and was absolutely delighted by it. She was laughing and saying she wants a copy too! It comes so naturally to kids, to dive right in, to delight, destroy and create. I need more of that in my life.

The second page (I’m going in order, like a nerd) says to splash coffee or tea on the page. Again, I hesitated, and then I just did it. And it felt good! I look forward to creatively destroying this book. Wish me luck. (I’m going to channel my most favorite artistic old same, ELK, during this project. She’ll be my muse.)

 

I also signed up to become certified to teach yoga to kids. It’s called Mindful Life Yoga for Kids. It looks really really interesting.

From the website: “The method is theoretically derived and informed by the latest research in the fields of cognitive neuroscience, positive psychology, social and emotional learning, and mindfulness.”

Mindful Life Yoga for Kids is a unique and innovative program specifically designed to help children develop:

  • An understanding of how their brain works
  • Attention skills
  • Sensory awareness
  • Emotional management skills
  • Compassion & Empathy
  • Ecological awareness

I honestly don’t know if I’ll even use the certification beyond my own house. I do know that the techniques are tools I would like to have in my arsenal for Hadley and Finn. 

The training is this weekend. All weekend. Friday from 5-7pm and then Sat and Sun from 9-4. I’m excited and nervous. Excited because I’ll be learning… YEAH! Nervous because lupus is probably going to be Debbie Downer as this is a lot for my body to take and I’m already feel kind of shitty. We’ll see how it goes.

And the other thing I’m doing to get out of my comfort zone is taking English riding lessons with Hadley! I’m so looking forward to it. She’s been begging for years to do it. I thought she would get over it. Who was I kidding though, this is Hadley we’re talking about. So, while signing her up, I thought “I’d like to do that too.” So, I am. We were supposed to have our first lesson on Sunday but Hadley was sick. I’ll have to get PGP to take some pics of me and my girl. I’m thrilled to be around horses. I loooooove them. And let’s be honest, the riding outfit is really cute too.

It’s an overcast day and I’m feeling fluish and achy, courtesy of Hadley and her cold. My bed beckons me.

Happy Wednesday to you. Get out of your comfort zone. It feels good. Weird. But good.

XO

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The Hustle

I think most people don’t get that you have to work at being happy. You have to DECIDE to be happy and then work at it. You do have a choice.

One of the Old Sames (E) sent me many cards during the whole breast cancer business. One of them said “Keep Hustling to Keep Happy”. I loved it and had it taped up on my bathroom mirror for the better part of a year.

The minute I saw this temporary tattoo from Tattly, I loved it.

johns_web_tattoo_1_grande

Can’t wait to put that sucker on. I’m also going to order some for the kids. They’re so cute!

Extra special shout-out to the animal loving girl who makes killer fudge. XO

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Loving

both_worlds

How incredible are these? Discovering Cecilia Parades’ work is filling my Sunday morning with wonder and delight. Love it. You can see more of her work here and here.

artwork_images_424676833_567413_cecilia-paredes

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Alive

Reading the paper this morning, there was an article about marrow donation and this quote jumped out and has been dancing around my head.

“I’m going to have to develop a little more patience with myself and really just enjoy being alive and not worrying about having to spend every moment of every day trying to achieve something.”

So, I will keep that with me today, as well as this video, which I imagine is what the inner workings of my brain look like.

Oh Land–White Nights

 

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Inspiring

 

How bad ass is this? Love love love it.

 

yoga

 

You have one body. Be good to it.

And Happy Weekend, MFs. Do something that makes you happy.

XO

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