Note to self: Sun = Misery

Note to self: Sun = Misery

So tomorrow is my birthday. I’ll be 36.

I am SUCH a birthday person and usually I am giddy with anticipation. Not this year though. I keep wondering why.
I’ve been distracted a lot and then yesterday I had to go and do something really really dumb.

It all plays out in my mind in slow motion. I knew better. I know better. It just happened. I’m so one of those people who has to learn something 100 times before it sticks.

I volunteered to work at the carnival at Finn’s darling school. I show up and see my assigned booth and there it is, in the sun. Not even just a little bit. COMPLETELY IN THE SUN. It was about 90 degrees.

The voice in my head said “you can’t do this.”

Another voice (don’t worry, they’re all mine) said “You’ll be fine.”

I didn’t want to make a fuss. There was so much going on already. Everyone bustling around doing their jobs. Kids squealing with delight. The popcorn popping. It was so sweet.

I just wanted to be normal.

I had sunscreen on and I thought “It’s only for a little while. I’ll be fine.”

I stood there at this booth, handing bean bags to little people so they could knock a cat down for 2 hours. In 90 degree Colorado heat. Straight sun. I was fine doing it, energized by the parents and sweet children. But I knew I would pay. Somewhere I hoped I wouldn’t have to though. That perhaps THIS time, I’d be fine.

Wrong.

I dragged all afternoon. I developed some weird puffy hives on my face that itched. I felt like I was walking through quicksand with concrete legs and I didn’t really have energy to form complete sentences.

My husband sat me down and made the most delicious salad for me. I ate it and moaned occasionally about how good it was and the goodness of Peter. I could fill a book with all of the goodness of Peter.

I couldn’t go to my book club last night, which really pissed me off because it was my fault. AND it was Sedaris’ brilliant book that I had all marked up and was ready to chat about with these smart girls.

I went to bed at 9.

This morning Peter left to take the kids to camps at 8am. I went back to bed and woke up at 12:30.

At 4:15, I am lying in bed again after having to pick up kids.

My bed is my sanctuary. I love the big white vastness of it and the comfort of luxe sheets.

My house is a total and complete mess. I don’t have any energy to fix it.

Argh.

I will go to bed early tonight and hope that tomorrow I will be better. We are going to the always delightful Potager for dinner and I would like a lovely evening filled with friends and good food. There is one magical table in the back garden that is hard to get. Peter and I are going at 5 to try to snag it. Wish us luck.

++++++++++

Things that are delighting me lately:

• BOTH children on skates now constantly skating around the house. While it is a tad annoying, I love the active part of it. They make obstacle courses and have races. Ah..the merits of all hardwoods downstairs. Plus, they are getting really good!
• This blog that Taylor’s dear Aunt Sheri introduced me too. It’s absolutely riveting and I love the idea. For 52 weeks, this girl will follow a different person’s directions for the entire week. I’m not explaining it well. Read about it here. Plus, you can’t help but fall in love with this girl. And her name is Emily, which you know comes from the Latin word meaning “kick ass”. It has inspired me in so many different ways. Can’t help but love that.
• I love discovering new music. There’s nothing like the first stages of band love where you just can’t get enough. 
• Spraying Moondance Botanicals lavender spritzer everywhere. Refreshing and relaxing.

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Don’t Shoot The Messenger

Don’t Shoot The Messenger

Hadley is ADAMANT about having a messenger bag next year for second grade. She has VERY specific ideas about what she wants. She also hates everything we have seen. Except this:

She looooooves this and makes this weird, excited panting sound when she sees it.

It’s not that I don’t like it. I just want her to go a BIT more femme.

These were my suggestions:

She turns her head and puts her nose in the air.

No PINK! She says. None!

I try to spell out the good points of each of the ones I like. “But look at the beautiful design on this one! And this one has a drawing like something you would do! OooOO! This one has safety pins on it!”

Nope. Don’t like it, Mom.

She lights up again seeing this:

(shaking my head laughing)

Oh, Hadley.

I know for a fact all of the other little girlies will have nothing like this. They will all have their pinky pink or purple backpacks with their initials monogrammed on it. It’s not that I want that. I just don’t want her to stick out. She had a hard time with “the pixie cut of 2009” and I don’t her to be ridiculed. However, I don’t want to raise a follower either. I am proud of her for taking such a stance on something as silly as a backpack. Her sense of style and aesthetic is becoming so strong. I don’t want to squelch that.

So, if you see my darling, strawberry blond rare bird, you’ll be able to pick her out easily. She’ll be the one with the skull messenger bag.

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J’aime beaucoup

J’aime beaucoup

 

• Vermont extra sharp white cheese
• guzzling V-8
• listening to Phoenix constantly
• my newly planted flowers (zinnias! oh and my favorite plant I can’t kill – geraniums)
• purging stuff(I’m married to a pack rat. The crap he keeps BAFFLES me. I’m working on it. Must.Get.Rid.Of.All.Stuff.)
• feeling incredibly, blissfully grateful for days I feel good (I was down for the count most of the week. miserable.)
• the fact that my husband watched So You Think You Can Dance with me last night all snugged up on the couch. Such a sweet gesture and I appreciated it. (It was akin to torture for him.)
• Early evening cocktail of Izze Peach with Grey Goose. Throw in some raspberries too. (brilliant packaging. always love Izze.)
• Hand sewing a doll with Hadley yesterday out of old socks and tights. (Before you think “aw, how sweet!” I will have you know my little rare bird drove me to drink aforementioned early evening cocktail with all of her “I’m bored. Mooooom, I’m boooored. What else can we do? Huh? Mom? What else?” after we sewed that friggin doll for 3 hours.)
• my hair being long.
• Being a Padden

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Still Dreaming of a Bike and Enjoying Tumbling

Still Dreaming of a Bike and Enjoying Tumbling

Turns out KTM took pictures the other night at our bike riding escapade!! (pics 12, 15 & 16) I was elated, as my heart is still soaring from the episode. Disregard the fact that I’m wearing a long tube top dress and flip flops, please. I was not aware I would be riding a bike…until two cocktails advised me that it would be fun. And it was. Memories of childhood came crashing through my brain. Loved it. However, I’m not down with a helmet. It’s distracting and uncomfortable. I wanted to feel the wind in my hair. Thanks for the pics, KT!

I have started a Tumblr account. It’s yet another creative outlet. I don’t write much on it, which I like. A blog can be exhausting at times mentally. This is more of a collection of quotes and images that inspire.

Speaking of creative outlet, HJ and I busted out a craft yesterday that turned out quite well. I had a lot of Amy Butler fabric quilting squares that I bought from eBay. (WTF? don’t ask. I can’t sew and don’t know the first thing about quilting.) So we modge podged them to the top of a wooden IKEA children’s table. I’ll take a pic. when we’re done.

Feeling sluggish today and worried about a loved one’s broken heart. Its a shame we don’t have the power to fix everything, isn’t it?

Happy almost 4th of July. Go get some sparklers, Mrs. Jacobs.

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Picture This

Picture This

My baby boy is turning 5 on July 8. This is the picture I used for his invite. It makes me laugh. He just recently got his yellow belt in karate and with that his sparring gear. He wants to wear it ALL. THE. TIME. This includes the athletic sports cup, which is hilarious. Have you ever seen such a tiny apparatus? What you are not seeing in the pic is that he’s naked with just the cup on. So. Funny.

 

Here he is a few days ago, reading books before bed. In full protective head gear. Like most people wear to bed.

Here are some pics from the lupus walk. It was a great success, by the way. We (my mom came too) only walked a mile or so before we bailed. My hips started to really hurt. Peter was leaving the next day for a week and I didn’t need to over do anything. B made SUCH a good point when she said she thought it was ridiculous that people with lupus were made to walk. She said we should have a day where we sit on the couch all day to raise money. She’s hilarious.

Speaking of hilarious, the glasses Finn is wearing below are not real. They are from some Groucho Marx disguise that he dismantled and then wore for days.

Speaking of lupus though, there was a character on Nurse Jackie with lupus last night. I was so excited to see how they portrayed her. Unfortunately, the character did not say a word and was in a wheelchair, coughing, thus perpetuating the myth that lupus is just mysterious and painful enough to garner a wheelchair but no information was given about what the disease actually does to your body. Argh.

 

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Word Nerd

Word Nerd

 

I have always been a word nerd. I love words. If you say a word I’m not familiar with, I’ll ask you to spell it so I can see it in my head. I credit my mom for instilling a love of language and words in me. When I read a word or hear a word I don’t know, I’ll scribble it down so I can look it up later and linger over the definition. In a REAL dictionary. Talk about fantastic. That last part revealed truly what a word nerd I am. Dictionaries are bad ass.

Sometimes I’ll use the word. Sometimes not. You have to know your audience. You can’t say morose to the 17 year old barista at Starbucks because she’ll ask you if you said “gross”. And when you repeat the word, she’ll shrug and say she thought I said gross but was mumbling. Odd.

However, when describing the little popcorn bags at the art house movie theater as Lilliputian, I was delighted to get a sweet smile and a “did you just say Lilliputian? Nice.” from the Jack Black-esque cashier.

These are the latest delicious morsels that have been floating around my head lately because I like the way they look and sound. Unitard is just funny. I mean, c’mon. Enjoy.

vitriol
schadenfreude
unitard 
resplendent
palindrome

 

I reinjured my back last week and it is KILLING me. Herniated disc. ARGH. Permanent grimace on my face. I won’t go to the doc because I already know what they’ll say. I know the exercises. I have Ibuprofen. No heavy lifting. Rest. It just takes time, which is so annoying.

However, I went upstairs a bit ago to rest my back and started reading When You Are Engulfed in Flames (Sedaris rules) and fell asleep. Luxury at its best.

Shoutouts to the lovely women who make my life so enjoyable. Special high five to the girl who rode bikes with me down the street last night and reminded me of what it was like to be 9 again.

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Have to Believe it is Magic

Have to Believe it is Magic

The stars aligned last night and my siblings and I were alone at my mom’s house with her. Just the 5 of us. It rarely happens.

Neil was in town on business for one day and the other three sibs dropped everything to spend an evening with him at Mom’s house. There was dinner and wine and lots of laughing. Did I mention there was laughing? No one is funnier than my sibs.

It was energizing and so special to be with these people whom I have known my entire life. Just us. No distractions. They make me stronger and funnier. I liked looking at my mom’s face as she looked at all of us together, beaming with pride. It is difficult to explain the joy I feel being a part of this tribe. They speak my language and accept me unconditionally. I am them and they are me.

No one had a camera, which is both annoying and a blessing, because I would have had to answer all sorts of questions as to why I’m looking like Courtney Love lately, all bedraggled and homeless like.

I did take a few mental pictures though and made sure to tell myself “remember this”.

I love you A,M,N and Mom. You too Dad.

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