32 Entropy Lane

Many lovely medias

I’m going to try to be better about updating this here blog. “Try” being the operative word so don’t be getting all pissy and finger pointy if I don’t do it.

Lots of good things I’ve read or seen lately. Here they are in a list. (lists! lists! lists!)

Books:

Moose – a memoir of a girl at fat camp. While I couldn’t relate to the fat camp aspect, I found that totally interesting. I could relate to the perils of puberty and the crippling insecurity everyone feels at that time. I enjoyed her candid, conversational style of writing. Plus, the author and I are roughly the same age and her pop culture references had me laughing out loud.

Beautiful Boy – I devour non-fiction. I like to know things really happened. Dunno why. This is tragic and beautifully written.

OPEN – Andre Agassi’s autobiography. I know. Andre Agassi. I was at the library just this morning and saw it so I’ve only read a few pages. I had heard from a few places that it was good. I opened it and started reading. He literally got me from the very beginning. That’s hard to do. Who knew he could write so well or that his life had been so heartbreaking? (looking forward to the salacious bits about other celebrities too….)

As I’ve said before, I go through phases where I freebase books. This is one of those times.

TV:

Anything I want to see, I’ll usually watch on my laptop, in the most fantastic bed ever.

Survivor finale was disappointing. Russell should have won. I was pissed. I was elated however, when NOTA won “The Sing Off”, so everything equals out. Go watch my favorite performance from the show.

Also, forgive me if I have already praised this show and I know I’m the last one to discover this but have you seen Party Down?? It rules. It was on Starz, which is unfortunate because what the hell channel is that anyway? However, if you love Arrested Development, this show will make you laugh.

Speaking of Arrested Development, I’m watching the entire series again from the very beginning. It makes me giddy it’s so good. And now I desperately want to name something George Michael.

Movies:

I rented Junebug and was so glad I finally saw it. It’s really fantastic. I had long heard Amy Adams was unbelievable in it and she is. It was quiet and nothing really happens but so much does. It’s beyond interesting. Fascinating really. So beautifully acted. Heartbreaking and enigmatic. I loved it and was entranced. Plus, how great is the poster artwork?

I saw Up in the Air, which I liked. Anna Kendrick stole if for me. The director, Jason Reitman dealt with the subject well and wasn’t too heavy handed with anything. I like when the audience is given a little credit, instead of having everything laid out in order like a happy meal. There were certain sequences with recently laid off people that were heart wrenching and very real. I wondered if they were scripted. I’m still on the fence about everyone FREAKING out about how amazing it is though.

I saw It’s Complicated and it was a fun romp. A Rom-Com for the Boomer generation. (AKA Old people can have sex, make bad decisions and act zany too) I didn’t have to think and that was why I went. Meryl was Meryl…luminous and funny and sweet and warm. Alec Baldwin was good per usual. I coveted Meryl’s character’s house. Good God.

I rented Food, Inc. and tried to watch it but gave up. I knew if i watched it, I would never eat again. Meg’s watching it and giving me the watered down notes.

Music

Music has been like water lately. Can’t. Get. Enough. Loud and danceable are the requirements. Music is the remedy for everything isn’t it? As the surgery approaches I have constant music on pumping me up. I compare myself to a boxer or something, getting riled up before a fight. It’s sort of the same thing. Except I get sweet pain meds after my fight. Oh and new boobs.

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Bring It

I had a lovely dinner out with my mom and sister tonight. The perfect dinner companions. I would include the picture of us at dinner but I don’t have it yet and even if I did I look like sasquatch and wouldn’t post it anyway. (this pic is from my lunch with CCC when he was in town from Atlanta. ::Sigh:: That visit was too short dear friend.)

Anyway, I was on the end in the picture. You know the person on the end and the one closest to the camera looks like a wildebeest. Mom and Meg are positively Lilliputian next to me. It was just all wrong.

They hassled me about not updating my blog frequently enough. That made me laugh. (I’m updating ladies!) I have been slacking and relaxing. Just nothing to write about I guess. Or perhaps I’m just lazy.

Happy New Year to you! I am not really one for resolutions as I try every day to be better but i do have a few things in mind that I want to accomplish in 2010. One of them would simply be to not have any medical emergencies.

Please.

My next surgery is on Wednesday. I’m ready. Prescriptions are filled. Blood work is done. Hair is done. (Top priority in case they really are giving out the “best hair in surgery” award I’ve dreamed out. )

I’ve known Michael, my hair stylist, since i was like 16. Meg found him first. He calls himself my “brister” – combination of brother and sister.

Anyway, as he’s washing my hair, we were talking about my surgery and a new stylist walked in the room. Michael filled her on what we were talking about. (He cuts my mom’s hair too so he said ‘Remember Ellen? I told you about her. Well, this is HER daughter.’ – I hate being the one who has a story. Just once I’d love to be the girl without a story.)

So, the new stylist, who still has her coat on, says “Oh, it’s nice to meet you.” Before she came in, I had been telling Michael that I was going to show him. So when he’s done shampooing, I stand up and lift up my shirt.

You know she wasn’t expecting seeing that at work that day. Poor girl.

Michael was fascinated and appreciated the teaching moment.

And I proceed to stand there chit chatting nonchalantly as the two of them check out my weird, nipple less mounds.

As my friend and neighbor B says, “they’re not boobs, they’re just hardware.” I may as well have been showing them my cell phone.

This is what mine look like.

Sort of creepy but I’m so used to it now and I’ve grown fond of them.

That picture is from a website called Myself: Together Again. It’s one woman’s struggle with breast cancer, chemo and then reconstruction and its well done.

You know it’s funny, when I think about it, this year has sucked. And yet, I can’t honestly remember a time when I’ve been happier or felt luckier.

Life is constantly throwing shit at you. It’s like this perpetual game of dodge ball. You’re bopping along, having fun, laughing with friends and then randomly get hit in the face. You pick yourself back up and get back in the game. (a sports analogy is such a stretch for me. I’m even surprising myself with it.)

As long as I’m with my friends and family though and keeping positive, life can be a really amazing.

Looking forward to a delish brunch with an old same tomorrow morning at Beatrice and Woodsley. WIshing E&C could be there too.

AND….AND!! School starts back up on Monday! I might bring my left over champagne to celebrate at the bus stop. More on the blue eyed devils another time. They’re both excelling in loud talking and complaining about food choices.

Hope you have a relaxing Sunday…

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The Butter To My Bread

I watched Julie and Julia last night from the delicious comfort of my bed. I highly recommend everything be done in bed, quite frankly. It’s my womb and safe haven. Except eating. Husband frowns on this. I have amended the no eating rule to exclude ice cream. Ice cream is fine because there are no crumbs. Crumbs make husband turn into the Incredible Hulk.

Seems lupus was annoyed to be sharing the stage with a cold last week so she is rearing her ugly head. Everything takes energy. Going to the store to get a few things requires I come home and nap for two hours. God forbid I do two things at once. My hands ache, at time painful to use. I’ve been gobbling ibuprofen, which only does so much. Whatever. I hurt. Blah blah blah. I’m dealing.

I digress…

The movie.

I wanted MORE Julia Child. Perhaps it was Meryl Streep’s portrayal of her but didn’t that woman just ooze enthusiasm and joy? So inspiring and delightful. Her husband ADORED her, which I loved as well. What a love story. Julia and her husband, Julia and food, Julia and life. She didn’t just embrace it, she French kissed it. (I have cards from here that say FRENCH KISS LIFE, now I want to frame one).

The problem I had with the film was the Julie part. I didn’t care about her. At all. I found her irritating and trite. I understand she “found herself” through her cooking project but I didn’t SEE that in the film. I saw a whiner who well, whined a lot, and neglected her husband and was unhappy. A lot.

At one point, Julie (played by Amy Adams) says to her friend “Am I a bitch?” The friend says “Yes”. I didn’t believe it. I didn’t believe that she was a bitch. A bitch is aggressive, goes after what she wants, takes control, etc. She was just kind of a whiny asshole. Maybe the real Julie Powell is a bitch (which is fine) but Amy Adams portrayal made her just seem sort of meek and pathetic.

I wanted to like her and root for her. I just couldn’t do it. I thought the juxtaposition of these two women was clunky.

Hm. Still processing…This of course brings up all sorts of things in my head about bloggers and how they come across versus reality. Do I come across as a whiny asshole? Perhaps. Am I really one? Perhaps. A post for another time…

I will say though that I immediately wanted to read everything and anything I could get my hands on about Julia Child. The movie should have just been about her.

And I wanted to cook. And eat. And say to my most fabulous, handsome husband “You are the butter to my bread. The breath to my life.” ( a fabulous quote from Paul Child to Julia in the film.)

Speaking of my darling bearded better half, I got the idea from Dooce to buy this t-shirt for him for Christmas. Being a font/word lover, I thought it was SO creative and thought he would appreciate the nerdiness.

Get it? El Vetica. Helvetica.

I love it and love the random Mexican wrestling mask with quotation marks for eyebrows.

Seeing as how PGP is clueless, I bring up the t-shirt casually in conversation thinking he’ll shriek (ok, he doesn’t shriek but perhaps chuckle) at the funny and creative shirt idea. So I tell him about it, not revealing that I had already purchased said shirt.

His reaction? (don’t worry…he doesn’t read my blog)

blink blink.

I smile and say “Isn’t that funny? Get it?”

blink blink. “Yeah, I get it.”

blink blink.

(turns back towards his computer)

Oh.

So when he opens it I’m going to be really dramatic and excited and shriek for him.

And then see if I can return it for a smaller size.

I wish you a lovely Sunday. I’m headed to Fancy Tiger this afternoon. Hadley is taking a craft class with her little pal. I heart her pal’s mom so we’re going to hang out while the girls get crafty. (anyone else have the Beasties just pop into their heads?)

Special holiday shout-out to the male J.H. Thanks for reading.

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Thursday Loves

First of all, I’m at a Panera, so that’s exciting. Solely because of my proximity to all of the bread products. Finn has karate next door so I’m making out with a bagel and drinking their iced green tea while he gets his ninja on.

Have you noticed that the green tea tastes nothing like green tea, but it so good? It’s probably green tea with boatloads of sweetener and crack. Mmmmm.

ELKs party on Sat night ruled. I had a most Excellent time. The capital E was for emphasis. (KT&A were sorely missed tho.) Such an Excellent time that I was terribly hung over the next day, which then turned into a horrible cold/cough. Awesome. I am on the tail end of it and happy it is coming to an end. All week, I would get up to help get the kids off to school and then go back to bed until 12:30. Just. So. Tired. And achy. The cold/cough gave way to a mini Lupus flare. My sister made a good point when she said “At least you had a REALLY good time. That would have sucked if you had flared after something dumb.”

Indeed sage sister, indeed.

Thursday loves…

I bought this rug today from FLOR for our foyer/hallway. I’ve been wanting to try this company for a while now. I love the concept. If it gets dirty or soiled, you just take that square off and run it under water or clean it. Genius.
the word “invaginate”. I know. Ew,right? The oncologist used it and I swear I didn’t hear anything she said after that for a good 10 minutes. I was wondering how I could subtly use it in a sentence. So bizarre and kooky.
The fact that my mom DOES NOT have to do chemo!!! HURRAH! Turns out the tumor wasn’t HER2-neu+ after all. Cancer is SUCH a roller coaster of emotions. It’s insane. SO many ups and downs and SO much info. I’m just so proud of her.
My implant surgery is coming up. (jan 6) I’m so looking forward to this boob bullshit to be over. I had my pre-op appointment today and all is well. I’m feeling good (aside from the heinous cold) and the expanders are just part of what I deal with now. It’ll be good to have them out. You’ll be happy to know the flashing and grabbing my own breasts has slowed down. Although I did drag S into the bathroom at ELKs to show her the goods. Only one person though. That’s pretty good, especially with me cocktailing. It could have gotten ugly.
Christmas music mix on my iPod. It’s on constantly at home. Love it. Especially Vince Guaraldi Trio. My fave. Finn’s too, which I love.
SmartWool socks. They are the ultimate, especially with my perpetually cold feet.
Listening to Pete Townshend’s “Let My Love Open The Door” in the car with the window open on a gorgeous Colorado day.
Teaching my munchkins the importance of lotion. I gave Hadley a tube of Skin Food for her backpack. So cute.
Roundabouts – they are rare and fantastic. Most people freak out while driving in them but I love them. They make me happy.
my bed. always my bed.
The Sing Off. Are you watching this? I love it. I love NOTA and Beezlbubs. I kind of think it would be too easy if Beezlbubs won. Everyone knows they rule. I’ve known about them since i was in 8th grade. I love Ben Folds and Shawn WhatshisBoyztoMen but Nicole Sherzinger? Please. She’s the Paula Abdul. Does she or does she not sound like she took a Quaalude before the show? Paula Abdul syndrome for sure. And the things she says are worthless. I fast forward through her. Thank you DVR.

Hope your week was swell and that you’re not letting the holiday madness get to you.

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Keeping Up

Ok, I’m no puritan but have you seen the ridiculous ad for the latest season premiere of Keeping up with the Kardashians?

WTF?

Why are they half naked?

Did they sell the Dash stores and start working at an escort agency claiming that they are safe, discreet and classy?

Do we need to see Kourtney all pregnant and sexed up?

What’s going on?

(If I were talking to you my voice would be getting higher and higher the more worked up I got.)

I get it. Sex sells. But this is laughably lame.

Except kudos for the photographer for making Khloe lay down. She looks less like a tranny.

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Thursday Loves – scrambled edition

Life is whizzing by as it tends to do this time of year with so many holiday things going on. I am hustling to be happy. However, I would like to speak to whomever is in charge of weather in Colorado. It’s too cold, mkay? WAY too freaking cold. It’s uncivilized and it’s making me cranky.

My mom remains the ultimate bad ass. A beautiful picture of strength and courage. My Aunt K and Uncle D are now in town helping, which makes me feel good. I like that she has someone at the house with her. She looks amazing but I can only imagine the emptiness she feels having her breasts gone. It’s emotional for me having weird, rock like, alien mounds on my chest. I can’t imagine my state if they were gone completely. She is brave.

We met with Mom’s oncologist on Tuesday and chemo is a reality. The doc’s calling it “gentler” chemo but isn’t that an oxymoron? The whole idea of it is daunting and a pain in the ass quite honestly. I find my anger returning and wishing that I could endure some of this BS for her. One drug is once a week for 12 weeks via IV. One drug is every three weeks for a YEAR via IV. And I think the other is a pill, I’m not sure. Ugh.

I bought the book The Help last week intending to get around to reading it sometime. I started and finished it in 3 days. I loved it. It’s really a beautiful story and an impressive first novel. I relish that feeling when you’re so engrossed in a book that everything you do is in the way of your reading. Brushing my teeth I’m thinking “I can’t wait to go read!” Eating dinner I’m thinking “I can’t wait to go read!” It reminds me of the giddiness of new love.

I immediately started to re-read The Lovely Bones as I wanted to read it again before I see the movie. I do love this book. However, I did find myself much more emotional and uncomfortable reading the beginning. The last time I read the book was when it first came out in 2002. I was pregnant or perhaps Hadley was a baby. Last night, as I read, I couldn’t help but picture Hadley as Susie Salmon. It made me hurry through the uncomfortable passages, not wanting to linger too long on what happened to this little girl. I am anxious to see the movie though. I know Peter Jackson will do it justice.

I read these 10 Thoughts on Whole Living from the November issue of Body+Soul. I ripped it out because I liked it. Here they are:

1. Find a few minutes each day to completely unplug.

2. Giving to others is the most powerful thing we can do for ourselves.

3. See physical fitness as a practice, not a goal.

4. This fall, make it a point to heed your need for solitude.

5. The secret to beautiful skin starts with what you put inside your body.

6. Try doing even the most menial tasks mindfully and with grace.

7. The quality of your connections with other people will carry you further than you think.

8. Just because a no-frills home remedy is simple doesn’t mean it won’t work.

9. If you want to eat healthier, try giving yourself the benefit of better choices.

10. Home isn’t a place. It’s a state of mind.

Did you see this funniest Facebook snafus of all Time on Huff Post? Some of them are so hysterical. The first one had me dying…A girl posts that she HATES HER JOB on her status and her boss replies. AWKWARD.

ELKs are having a holiday party this weekend and I told lady ELK I’m going to show up as a time traveler from 1987. My clothes suck. I had originally intended to make this party the prom of 2009 and go all out. However, reality has set in and I will not arrive to a swarm of gasps about how awesome I look. I will, however, borrow sister’s DVF wrap dress, which will do quite nicely.

Peter and I had a date over the weekend and saw the rock musical, Spring Awakening. I had been wanting to see this since it was running on Broadway and swept the Tonys. Also, since Lea Michele played Wendla on Broadway and she is now on the show “Glee”. (HEART)

I loved so much about it but when it was over I was left feeling “meh”. It was anticlimactic for me. I can’t stop thinking about it or singing the songs, which were fantastic but I wouldn’t say I was moved. It irritates me that I can’t put my finger on why I wasn’t beyond thrilled. Maybe it felt trite? It shouldn’t since it is based on a play written in 1891 by Frank Wedekind. The content was CRAZY for those times. People thought he was a sexual deviant. I don’t know. I’m thinking out loud. If you’ve seen it or go to see it, tell me what you think. Next up is "In the Heights”, which I can’t wait to see.

Happy Thursday. Make it a good one.

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Grateful thoughts and more audio happiness

Ok, so first of all, my mom’s surgery yesterday went really well and she will come home today! I’ll take her home and be her nursemaid. This feeling of being able to help her is wonderful. I am so often the one needing help.

I introduced myself to anyone within 5 feet of her and kept saying “Ok ladies, take good care of my mom!” The anesthesiologist was a woman, which I loved, as was the surgeon and the two Physician’s assistants.

I am beyond proud of her! She’s total superwoman. I think and hope because she is not having reconstruction, her recovery will be much MUCH smoother than mine.

I can’t even explain the feeling I had when they wheeled her into the room after surgery. I paced and prepared myself for her to look bad. But they wheeled her in and she said ‘Hi!’ in her usual sweet way, pink cheeks and eyes bright and clear. I immediately hugged and kissed her. Relief flooded my body.

Thank you, universe. I need her here with me.

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Peter ran across music from Girl Talk and called me into his office to have a listen. We listened and delighted in it for a while. It’s fantastic and perfectly matched my celebratory mood.

Dumb name I know. There’s a reason. It’s one guy named Gregg Gillis who makes these truly masterful mash-ups, sampling everything and I mean, EVERYTHING under the sun. (Footloose came on at one point and I squealed.)

In a 2009 interview with FMLY, Gillis stated:

The name Girl Talk is a reference to many things, products, magazines, books. It’s a pop culture phrase. The whole point of choosing the name early on was basically to just stir things up a little within the small scene I was operating from. I came from a more experimental background and there were some very overly serious, borderline academic type electronic musicians. I wanted to pick a name that they would be embarrassed to play with. You know Girl Talk sounded exactly the opposite of a man playing a laptop, so that’s what I chose. (from his wikipedia page)

Go read about him. Fascinating guy. You know how I love me some brilliant nerd. It probably goes without saying that I heart him and will commence learning everything I can about him via the interwebs.

It’s so much fun to listen to and try to figure out what he’s sampling.

Peter just downloaded every album the kid has and loaded it on to my laptop. Brilliant. It would be perfect to work out to or run to if I did such things. I’ll have to settle for the white woman wiggle in the car.