Here We Are

Here We Are

Lately I've been thinking so much about how parenting has changed for me over the years. Hadley and Finn are now 17 and 14, respectively, and shit is different.

Parenting for years was lots of shlepping, wiping, carrying, soothing. It was incredibly physically draining. Both of my children had enough energy for 3 other people and I was at a deficit because of lupus and fibromyalgia. I longed for the days when it wouldn't be so hard. When I wouldn't be so tired. When they wouldn't need me as much.

Those days came but with the less physically demanding aspects of parenthood came the mental olympics that are "the teenage years". OMG. You guys. I long for the somewhat easier days of physical exhaustion. I almost prefer that to the minefield topics of life these days.

My inner voice is constantly like "BE COOL. DON'T FUCK UP THIS TEACHING MOMENT!"as I try to comfort my daughter because her friend has been institutionalized for attempting suicide. (!) See what I mean? Gone are the days when the only thing needed was the right Dora the Explorer cup.

It feels like the Wild Wild West. I frequently remind my kids that we have no idea what we're doing. NO IDEA. We're figuring it out as we go but we love them so much. That has to be enough.

:::sigh:::

That's it for now.