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Why I Adore My Mom: Reason 689

I could fill a hundred books with reasons why I adore this woman. Those close to me know that I bow down at the altar of Ellen Padden.

But for today. I’ll just give you one reason.

Growing up, we had this plastic Pyrex-like pitcher (alliteration for the day!) that we called “the throw up bucket”. When anyone was sick, the trusty throw up bucket was close by.

It sort of looked like this:


Except ours was clear plastic and had measuring tics in red on the side and was from the 70s. If I were at my mom’s right now, I could take a picture of it, as she still has it and uses it to water plants. When we’re all together you can still hear a kid randomly see it and say “Aw, the throw up bucket!”

Sometimes mom would use it for other things and we would all freak out screaming ‘EWWWWW! You can’t use it for other things!! It’s the throw up bucket!!” To which mom would say “Don’t be silly. Of course I washed it!”

Anyway, about 5 years ago, my mom gave each kid and their family a set of fantastic stacking bowls for Christmas with the following poem attached:

Ode to the Throw Up Bowl

Because I got so much razzing about “the throw up bowl”

I retired it to water plants, although it hurt my soul.

I had seen so many traumas and was helpful in times of need.

I loved its sturdy roundness and it brought back memories.

I marched to the call of the future because I heard the beck and call

Of wonderful Williams and Sonoma, the culinary savior of us all.

I purchased clean stacking bowls of varying colored hue,

And left the store knowing that I had started something new.

Hence you can use these bowls to fulfill your every wish.

They will come in handy when you want to create a dish.

You now have three sizes as opposed to only one.

You can have popcorn, pasta or pilaf, what culinary fun!

But when you are in dire need and the light is very, very dim

You’ll know where the bowls are in your very own kitchen.

Mark one for that special purpose and you will be prepared

But be sure to tell your mom who saw the need and cared.

Love always, Mom


I kept this poem and taped it to the inside of my kitchen cabinet so I see it every day.

Last night, while putting dishes away, I saw it and crawled up on the counter to read it again.

No matter how many times I read it, I always cry at the end. For a multitude of reasons I suppose, but mostly because I picture her typing out this darling poem, mounting it on thick green paper, and giving it to us kids with all of the love in her heart.

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Thursday Loves

  • Finn still calls a grilled cheese a “girl cheese.” I do not correct him because it’s so friggin cute. I suppose I should considering I thought “whipped cream” was “whup cream” until I was like, 15. (Don’t blame me. I spent my life in Texas until I was 11.)
  • No obligations today = an easy and relaxing morning.
  • I want this in my house somewhere. They’re grass installments. I like the hanging ball. So cool. (via swissmiss)
  • My heart swelled like a mama looking at Tavi (the 13 year old fashion blogger) all gussied up in Miu Miu channeling Courtney Love. She looks so pretty and grown up!
  • The stellar phlebotomist this morning who took copious amounts of my blood. I’m not even kidding. A good blood draw can make your day. I literally didn’t feel a thing. I was detailing everything to H&F about what was going on. Finn couldn’t watch. He stood in the hallway. (sweet boy!) Hadley, of course, was all up in the guy’s business, asking questions and watching my face. She would have drawn the blood herself if would have let her.
  • MUSIC! My car stereo (does that date me?) broke and I have been suffering. I didn’t realize how much until today. It all sort of clicked. No music = unhappy mama.
  • United States of Tara and Nurse Jackie did not disappoint. I forgot how much I LOVE United States of Tara. It’s been so long since the first season.  I love the opening sequence. I cannot look away when Toni Collette is onscreen. I just find her so fascinating and beautiful. I also dig the daughter Kate (Brie Larson). She’s hysterical and I love her style. The whole show is fabulous.
  • I like this sign from Sundance


  • Annie’s fruit snacks are my children’s crack. Specifically the “berry patch” flavor.  I wondered “Could they really be that good?” after going through yet another box. (There are only like 6 packets in the box, which sucks)  The answer is yes. I don’t like fruit snacks. I think they are boring and waxy and a waste of energy to chew. But THESE! Melt in your mouth delicious I tell you.
  • I blame the arrival of Spring for the overwhelming urge to shop and update my closet. And by “update” you know I mean “get more jeans, black, grey and white t-shirts”. I want to SHOP. Actually, I want to be styled. I want to go to Saks and sit and have someone style me, appropriately and then leave with a new wardrobe.

At what point do I seek help because I’m STILL mad Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock? Anyone?

Another totally random side note: I’ve been finding myself censoring lately, which is dangerous. Hopefully, it’ll pass.

A bientot.

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Do It


image via Le Love

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Negative Nelly

I don’t know what’s going on with me but I am the new official mascot of the Cranky Cranks. It’s a team of competitive complainers. As soon as a spot opens up on the team, Coach says I’m in. That’s how good I am.

The crease in between my eyebrows is getting worse. Perma furrow.

This is serious.

And my children have Spring Break this week. And Peter will be out of town.


Must be positive. Must be positive. And get it together.

  • I saw someone fast walking (it’s called "wogging”, no?)  today with headphones on smoking a cigarette. It made me laugh.
  • Nurse Jackie and The United States of Tara start tomorrow.
  • I’m listening to classical music and drinking iced green tea.
  • Three new books: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo (R&E book club), The Monster of Florence (book club), and Undress Me In The Temple of Heaven. They all seem really juicy. I’ll read them in that order, although I’m dying to get my hands on Undress Me first.

Must rest now. There is for sure a connection between my fatigue, achy joints and the negativity, right?

Tomorrow is another day. Let’s hope it’s a good one. And that I don’t snap at my children.

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Wish I Were Here


                                     image via sfgirlbybay

Craving warm weather, a clean uncluttered, remodeled house, fresh highlights, shaved legs, lovely outings with friends, a date with my husband and a personal chef. Can someone get on that, please?

Did I ever tell you my Darling (capital D intended) across the street neighbor had to go through the same mastectomy BS at basically the same time I did? Isn’t that beyond weird? I don’t think I’ve mentioned it. Probably for privacy purposes. But I don’t think she’d mind at this point. We have had each other to compare notes, complain, etc. which has been really comforting. We have the same plastic surgeon too. Anyway, send out some magical booby love to her today. She got her final implants and is free of those horrible expanders. Congrats, B!

Talking about “beyond weird”, it’s also bizarre that my mom got her diagnosis a month after mine but I think there surely had to be a reason. You can’t imagine what this is like until you’ve been through it. I got it first so I could help B and Mom.

Silver lining, people, silver lining.

My next and final surgery is April 14th. That’s when the doc will put the finishing touches on. To avoid creepy perverts, I’ll say “knipples.” (thanks Mrs. R!) They will take skin from my belly to make knipples and attach them. After they heal, the areola will be tattooed on. I’ve seen his work and it looks so good. No sensation anywhere but they’ll look right.


I’m over it.

I’m over everything, actually. I’m dead tired and the activity never stops.

Met with my rheumatologist a few days ago and she was all a twitter over the new drug, Benlysta. I might be able to start it late summer. It is administered through IV (which takes an hour) once a month. Kind of a pain in the ass but if it makes my lupus better? Bring it.  Plus, one less pill! And the news from the trial is VERY good. Minimal side effects and lots of improvement! Everything else checked out fine. I mentioned all of the normal shit I have been experiencing: hair loss, nose sores, blue numb hands, crazy fatigue, brutal hip and knee pain and RLS.

She smiled and said “Yup. That’s lupus.”

“Yup.” I said.

She asked if I wanted something for the RLS (Requip, which lists this as one of the side effects: You may have increased sexual urges, unusual urges to gamble, or other intense urges while taking this medication.)

Unusual urges to gamble? In addition to being super sleepy (which it does). So, I would be a super sleep,y sex craving gambler? I’m laughing just typing this….

“God, no.” I said. “Please no more pills. I’ll deal with it.”

I peed in a cup and they took a bunch of blood per usual and in 3 months I go back to do it all again. All in all, a successful trip to the doc.

Happy St. Patrick’s Day to you. Slainte! I’m making Bangers and Mash for dinner tonight in honor of my fellow Irishmen.

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Crabby Patty

I’m here.

I have many things to blog about but I’m crabby and just want to sit. And be still. And not talk.

Here are a few things you could do to improve my mood though:

  • RSVP, people. Why is that optional these days? Have you no couth? HJ’s bday party was a tad spendy. I counted on the RSVPs to give me an accurate head count (duh). I had a no show, whom I will now refer to as “gimme back my 30 dollars”
  • Along the same lines, when someone lets you into their lane while driving, WAVE to them, assholes. No one does this.

Ironic that today is Thursday Loves and I want to spit fire and bite flesh.

Here are few bright spots though.

  • A beautiful BREEzy birthday girl’s party at a bowling alley on Monday night. My date was the lovely ELK and MUCH fun was had. There were good eats, bowling and really lovely people.
  • My mom, HJ and I were chosen to be a part of Justin Hackworth’s photography project called 30 Strangers. This is actually tres cool!  A ton of people applied and we were chosen! This makes up for the fact that I NEVER win anything. Plus, he’s a killer photographer and I will cherish a photo of my mama, my baby girl and me. We’ll fly into UT early April and spend a night or two there. It’ll be just like Thelma and Louise but different.

Need to go find a better mood. Wish me luck.

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Spit Spot

Hadley’s birthday was yesterday. Rare bird is 8. EIGHT. Wha? It just seems so OLD. She’s having her party this weekend at the Aquarium and is FREAKING out. She’s delighted to be reunited with her sting rays. And have her peeps (girls only! Luca, Owen and Finn are allowed) in attendance. And presents. (The presents part is said in a REALLY high pitched squeal by Hadley while clapping her hands).

LifeFebruary2009 033

(Last week we were in a 50s diner with neon pink lights everywhere, hence the pinkness to the photo above)

Here are Thursday Loves I never got around to posting yesterday:

  • loving ranunculus lately – the shape and colors I’ve been seeing are so pretty and bright. Aren’t they perfect and sort of Suessian?



  • Becca said the funniest thing a WHILE ago and every time I think about it, I laugh, STILL. She said “If you’re skinny and you wear clothes from Anthropologie, you look quirky and cool. But if you’re fat? You just look crazy.”
  • Still loving Crazy Heart. Still. And I finally saw Precious. Mo’Nique can go ahead and pick up her Oscar early to avoid all of the riff raff and whatnot because she’s going to win it. Incredible. It seems I won’t be able to fit in all of the Oscar movies before Sunday night. Ah well…
  • LOVE this site fantastically called Greedy Girl. How cute are these ensembles?


  • Mint chocolate chip ice cream.
  • The movie The September Issue. I loved it. I love behind the scenes types of films and anything that shows what Anna Wintour is ‘really’ like is welcome. But most of all, I enjoyed getting to see so much of Grace Coddington, VOGUE’s creative director. Her talent is astonishing and she is just a lovely and inspirational being. I loved her spirit. Goddess indeed.


  • I have Coco before Chanel from Netflix and I can’t wait to curl up with that flick.
  • Nurse Jackie is returning on March 22!
  • Shout out to AXM for bringing Spoon, Band of Horses and Broken Bells into my life. Hello lovely music. I’m also liking Passion Pit.
  • I have been enjoying unkempt hair and no makeup. I doubt anyone else has been enjoying it (ACK! Look at that hot mess!) but it makes me feel summery and carefree so I’m into it. I’m ready for long dresses and flip flops.
  • The book, The Tender Bar, is absolutely heartbreakingly amusing. Do those two words even make sense? The way Moehringer can break your heart in the same sentence that he makes you laugh out loud is true talent. Can’t wait to talk about it at book club.
  • Now that Sweet and Bitter is in the witness relocation program, you have to have a password to read her blog but luckily I have one so I can show you the cool shizz she posts like this video. It fascinates me and terrifies me at the same time. That little peanut in the beginning reminds me of my HJ.


Happy Weekend. I hope something happens that surprises and delights you.

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Speak with Authority

I loved this video. Visually, I loved it because I HEART words and fonts! But it is the message that is spot on. (found it through Roger Ebert’s twitter)

Before you even watch it, know that I am SO GUILTY of what the poet, Taylor Mali, is talking about and am NOT trying to claim that I am the most well spoken lady in all of the land. Like, totally.

Typography from Ronnie Bruce on Vimeo.

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I Would Be

a month, I would be: May
a day of the week, I would be: Sunday
a time of day, I would be: 6am
a planet, I would be: Earth
a direction, I would be: West
a historical figure, I would be: drawing a blank…
a liquid, I would be: whipped cream
a tree, I would be: magnolia
a plant, I would be: succulent
a flower, I would be: peony
a kind of weather, I would be: sunny yet a bit breezy
a musical instrument, I would be: piano
an animal, I would be: a horse
a color, I would be: green
a fruit, I would be: raspberry
a sound, I would be: the ocean
an element, I would be: rain
a song, I would be: one? It would have to be a mix tape
a book, I would be: Just one?? Can’t do it. 
a food, I would be: sushi
a place, I would be: home
a word, I would be: mellifluous
a scent, I would be: lavender
a body part, I would be: belly
an object, I would be: a luxe blanket
a cartoon character, I would be: The Mighty B
an event, I would be: a wedding
a number, I would be: 8
an occupation, I would be: actress
a mythological being, I would be: Alcyone
a feeling, I would be: bliss
a mineral, I would be: talc
a religious icon, I would be: Buddha
an art form, I would be: painting
a symbol, I would be: ampersand
a constellation, I would be: Delphinus
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