Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
Showing posts with label memories. Show all posts
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Press On, Regardless

Today my Dad would have turned 70 years old.

I knew this fact but it snuck up on me just the same. I found myself crying yesterday remembering something pretty great about him and realizing how much I miss him.

In honor of his birthday, I was thinking of things we could do that remind me of him.

Perhaps a trip to the bookstore, as he loved books and had a particular fondness for poetry. He knew lots of poems by heart and also had tons of really great quotes floating around in his brain to pull out at appropriate times.

A trip to the hardware store always reminds me of him because he could make even the most mundane thing magical. Now that I’m older, I get it because Peter is very similar. It’s a man shop full of lots of stuff, or as my Dad called them, “treasures”. We would slowly walk down each aisle and he would grab something and say “Look at THIS! You know what this does?”

Or a trip to the museum because he loved learning and never stopped asking questions or wanting to know more about something I can still hear him say “Isn’t that neat?” (Keep in mind, dear reader, that the use of the word “neat” may seem old fashioned or perhaps even lame these days but the way he said it was so earnest. If he said something was neat, it was pretty awesome.)

I thought of him yesterday because I took the kids to Wash Park in Denver to rent a paddle boat and then have a picnic lunch. (I would like to publicly thank my mom and sister, who, when I told them the story of what we did, appropriately gasped and ooohed and ahhhed, validating that I was, in fact, a fun and generous mother.)

Imagine my dismay that they complained and fought most of the hour on the lake. Wha? This is fantastic and novel, you should be overflowing with gratitude!

Finn hated it but Hadley loved it. My little naturalist was in heaven pointing out cormorants and pelicans, along with a flock of ducks, of course. One duck followed us the entire time and Hadley named her Amelia. She said more than once she wished she had a notepad and her bird monocle. Finn was bored and doesn’t enjoy anything where you’re sitting still for long periods of time.

We ended up taking the boat back early because I couldn’t handle the fighting anymore. We got our lunches (me talking through my teeth and dragging them behind me) and sat down to eat. H&F noticed squirrels and started throwing Goldfish crackers to them. Pretty soon, we were hand feeding one of the squirrels. Finn said “This is the best time in my entire life!”

Really? In your entire life?

Life is funny that way. The thing you expect to bring the most joy, often doesn’t. And the ridiculously simple things can often bring absolute delight. The three of us gushed about how we each hand fed a squirrel while walking to the car. My Dad loved Goldfish crackers and hated squirrels. He called them “tree rats.” I laughed to myself thinking of the things he would be saying if he was there.

I’m sure I’ve mentioned many many times before a quality that I loved about my Dad but it’s worth repeating because it’s a good one. Every time he saw me, he lit up. That means SO much to a kid. It meant so much to me. To see that he was genuinely happier because I had arrived. I keep that with me all of the time and try to do the same with my kids.

My mom and Pellegrinos are coming over tonight for dinner. We’re going to toast Roger Padden. Often times, when we were together, he would raise a glass and say “It’s good to be with you.” Simple, yet perfect and heartfelt. I find myself saying it now too.

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Happy 70th, Dad. It was good to be with you.

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Thursday Loves

Sister and I were having one of daily chats when we started talking about whether we’re introverts or extroverts. I know people see me as an extrovert, and I am, but I’m also quite an introvert. Meg said ‘You’re an extroverted introvert”, you get energy by being alone to fuel your extroverted-ness.”

I like that.

So, now just as I envision a car filling up with gas when I’m eating really well, I now do the same when I’m alone. (I’m all about visualization.)

Peter is in Seattle until tomorrow and while I miss his sweet beardy face and can’t wait to hug and squeeze him, there is something to be said for having time apart. (He works from home and is in a tie with my brother, A, as the loudest talker in all of the land.)

He arrives home tomorrow on the day our sweet rare bird turns 9. NINE. As in, I have a 9 year old daughter. As in, my nine year old is a total tween. WHA? Oh sweet Lady Jane. Where did the years go? I’m hoping she is a late bloomer and continues her love of all things creepy, arty and eccentric. The mean girls swarm but so far HJ has been immune to it. Shine on, you crazy diamond.

Here are some things that are making me love life:

  • TWO of my girlfriends are having twins. It’s has been so exciting thinking about it and anticipating the arrival of four new, fantastic humans. And I often find myself in AWE of these women with TWO babies wriggling around in their wombs. GAWD.
  • Almond butter on banana. Perfection.
  • the weather here in CO the last few days. Unbelievable soul and mood fuel. 65 and SUNNY. It makes me miss the 1976 CJ7 Jeep I drove in my teens. That car was perfect for days like these.
  • Boulder Veggie bowl with gluten free teriyaki and brown rice at Tokyo Joe’s. Mmmmm…serious goodness.
  • Coming Clean…Things I never told my parents made me laugh out loud. It reminded of a time when my Dad and I went out to breakfast when I was about 22. We were laughing reminiscing. For some reason I decided to tell him that one day in high school when they thought I was at school, we had really driven to Taos. He wanted to be pissed but he couldn’t. We laughed and laughed. (The really hilarious part of the story is that I called, like a good daughter, and said that I was at A’s house and A’s phone wasn’t working so I would talk to them the next day. (um, good one, dumbass) My dad said “Nah. You can come home tonight. Be here by 7pm.  You did not say “no” to Roger.  It was like Noon or something so I knew I had to hustle. (we ditched school to drive to New Mexico that morning) So, I freak out and A and I drive from Taos home to Denver in totally shitty weather. (Meanwhile, the only money I had was my parent’s Phillips 66 gas card. Serious dumbass) When I get home, ready for all hell to break loose, my parents WEREN’T EVEN HOME. They had gone to a dinner party!  Jerkfaces. My Dad thought THAT was hilarious.
  • Sharpening pencils. There is something oddly meditative about it.
  • My bed, or as I now call it, “the command center.” 

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  • love this pic by Nathan Coley
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Rough Re-entry

We’re back.

Sigh.

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                                             view from our house

Post vacation blues are a bitch.

I’m coming out of it slowly, but the return to my life was bumpy. Change is hard. I wanted to sell everything and move to Sayulita. Immediately. All sorts of crazy things were churning through my brain.

Luckily, Peter has become adept at taming my crazies and sweetly brought me back to planet earth.

We don’t have to move there. We can just go again.

Duh.

Sayulita was magical. That word sums it up. The house was beautiful. Being with my besties was effortless and rejuvenating. The kids were great. The food was beyond fantastic. I FELT GOOD. Alert the presses. Aside from mild fatigue, my body felt great! It was the best vacation ever.

Our house was really beautiful and perfect for 4 families. Aside from the fact that we were up the hill from a Rooster farm (those fuckers cock-a-doodle-do constantly. It’s not just in the morning. Do NOT missing hearing that) everything was superb. We had a great walk into town, including a huge hill so a workout was built into the day, which I loved, as I have to be tricked into working out.

I also loved having my kids experience the laid back vibe of Mexico. The dirt streets with chickens and stray dogs meandering around. A constant smattering of Spanish in the air. Different food. Different culture. More than anything it made me want to travel more. To show them more of the world. Not everyone lives like they do. In fact, most of the world does not.

Life was so much simpler there. I didn’t get online the entire trip. 6 days. I didn’t want to. I did yoga by the pool a few mornings, breathed in the salty air and was grateful for this time spent with people whom I love so much. These girls are like my sisters. There was no drama or tumult. Just togetherness. Free and easy.

We were a little village with 8 adults and 5 kids. We looked after each other and our little offspring. I will say there is something deeply DEEPLY fantastic about having self-sufficient kids who spend the majority of the time in the ocean while I lay under a shaded chair with cocktails.

I drank more beer and ate more meat than I have in the last few years. Explain that one to me?

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             Finny, HJ and the Reidy boys, Gavin and Henry in our driveway

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our little surfer girl

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most pics of Finn are like this. The child does not pose. Too many exciting things going on.

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The big house had a little apartment attached to it, where we stayed.

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stairs up to the big house

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the pool behind the house. Unfortch, it was a little too chilly most of the time to swim.

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The morning after we arrived, I saw these little footprints. They had just painted a wall and I assumed a cat had walked in the paint and down the stairs. So sweet. 3 days later, searching the property for the laundry room, Emily and I discovered twas not a cat at all, but an opossum. It was late at night and dark outside, I saw something move and said “Oh, that must be the kitty.” Em said “Nasty. That’s not a cat.”

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Teeny paw prints are still cute.

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HJ with the most delightful Camille. There was much crafting and playing and coloring.

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Camille and Peter TOTALLY bonded, which Peter loved, as most little kids are freaked out by his beard and bald head. He could not get enough of her.

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It probably goes without saying that this little girl had everyone wrapped around her finger.

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Peter and JR relaxing by the pool.

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This is what the boys were doing most of the time, when they weren’t fully immersed in episodes of Scooby Doo.

I wasn’t really a good picture taker, which I regret now. I don’t have a picture of all of the adults or myself and the girls. It takes a lot of effort to constantly be taking pictures,etc and I was just lazy.

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self portrait. I’m rocking a huge hat, long sleeves and tons of sunscreen.

Adios Sayulita. See you again soon. XO

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Always Thankful

Been inspired lately and trying to be positive and surround myself with goodness. Frequent yoga is helping immensely. I love the body buzz and the mental high.

Thanksgiving was really lovely. I am completely depleted and my body hates me from overuse but I am so content. My cousin Brendan and his wife came and stayed with us for the holiday. I was initially nervous because hosting people is exhausting. My anxiety mounted. Turned out it was completely unnecessary. They were the perfect guests. Really really cool people. We miss them and want them to come back.

My brother Neil and his family came from Dallas so we were all together.

My mom made the evening so unique and special. She is like no other in the most loving way. Love is in the details. And there were so many details. We all had these little place cards.

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It was just SO good to be together to talk and laugh. There’s nothing like being with them. I laughed so much the whole time. Seriously. The WHOLE time. My sister said it perfectly when she said that we all have just accepted where and who we are and love each other unconditionally. So true. No stress or weird drama. Just togetherness. Dad is always missed but we be so proud of us. Especially Mom. 

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(the kids were so curious about Uncle Peter not having hair. I went and got a wig for him. Wigs are funny. And how normal does he look with it on??)

My favorite part is always seeing the cousins together. There are 9 of them and they were constantly playing together. Meg has a great post about the week too.

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This is Neil’s oldest Olivia and Hadley. How cute are they? And how much do they look alike? They are the redheads in the bunch. You can see Grace, Olivia’s sis in the background.

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As much fun as we had, I am happy to be back to the routine, where I feel most comfortable.

Yesterday ruled for no apparent reason. Clear head, minimal pain, more energy than usual. Yoga, eating well and laundry. It’s the small things.

Each night at dinner we cheers each other and clink glasses. Everyone says the best part and the worst part of their day.

Yesterday, I couldn’t think of a worst part. Not one thing. Love that.

Been avoiding negativity and “noise” lately, which helps my current state of mind. You know what I mean by noise….too much TV or internet, stores or bustling around, cranky people. Embracing stillness.

A while ago I stopped reading some websites and blogs because they were becoming toxic. Blogs that I had been reading for years…just because I read them every day. But when I started to evaluate what I got from reading them, I came up empty. The only thing keeping me going was voyeurism and that’s not good enough. Most of the time I would grimace after I read the post.

Not anymore. I won’t name names. No need.

Welcome to December, little birdies. I hope the month brings you good cheer.

The kids were so psyched to start their Advent calendars today. Hadley got the Amsterdam Calendar from Nouveau Designs. (We will discuss my desire and dream to move to Amsterdam at a later date. My mind is churning…)

Amsterdam Advent Calendar 

And Finn has the Brooklyn calendar. I love love love them.

Brooklyn Advent Calendar

 

Listening to Amos Lee on this Wednesday morning and contemplating plans for the day. Hope your week is going well.

XO

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Click

EP (3)

This picture was taken a few years ago in Asheville, NC. I recently found it in a pile of photos I need to frame or file or…something.

My in-laws’ friend, Becky, has a charming property she named Rhodallen outside of Asheville. It’s on a little lake. The kids love to take this, (whatever it’s called…flotilla? raft? tiny barge?) out on the lake and look for critters. Peter and I took it out one afternoon and his sister snapped this picture. It is one of my favorites.

Peter is explaining something to me. What he was explaining I forget, but I’m sure it was something geeky and complicated. (hence the claw left hand) My head is cocked listening to him.

This picture perfectly encapsulates how I feel about us. On the same team, working our way through life together.

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For you both

Dear Hadley and Finn,

I know a lot of times I’m cranky and I wish I wasn’t.

I sigh A LOT out of impatience and annoyance.

I am short with you when I shouldn’t be and use that gross guttural voice to yell, that comes from deep within and makes me sound like a man.

I know sometimes I use swear words when I always thought I would NEVER. ( Nana swore about 5 times in her life and I remember where I was and what I was wearing when she did.)

As you both got on the bus for your first day of school, I felt like I was going to throw up I was so nervous. (more nervous for Finn, HJ, I knew you were going to be aces.) I didn’t cry. I was just super nauseous.  I was also excited because you’re MY people and you’re spreading your wings and FLYING! Out in the world! Alone! That’s very very cool to think I am a part of that.

My long winded point is know that I love you. Deeply. Fiercely. Happily. Always and forever. With all of my heart. Make me proud, lovies.

Love,

Mom

First Day of School from Emily Provost on Vimeo.

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NOLA

Cue the music to Clapton’s “Hello Old Friend.”

Hey.

So, it’s been a while.

Peter and I went to New Orleans (don’t say New OrLEENS to me. Just don’t.) in the beginning of June because Peter had a geek conference and I was going to tag along to have a kid free trip. I didn’t blog about it because I didn’t want the interwebs to know we were going to be gone and my three darlings would be alone. I say “three” because it was Hadley, Finn and Taylor.

Yes, Taylor came from Seattle to stay here while we frolicked in NOLA for 5 days alone. FIVE.

It was difficult to leave the house because I wanted to stay and play with Taylor. Anyone who meets her knows she’s magical. It’s true. The kids, of course, couldn’t get us out of the house fast enough. Finn kept saying “She’ here, now GOOOO!”

New Orleans was lovely. When is it not? Nothing like that Southern hospitality and charm. I ate, slept until 11 or 12 every day, ordered room service, spent as much time as I could in air conditioning, saw two movies and relaxed my ass off. It was absolutely fantastic. Truly.

I have zero pictures because I lost my camera. (insert sad face – total bummer) I need a new one. I want a sweet one like Meg’s but that thing is HUGE. I’d never take it anywhere. Suggestions are welcome. I want a digital SLR that’s not enormous.

Summer is in delicious,full,sweaty swing. Hope yours is going well.

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Summer Sisters

pop Go read my sister’s latest post. She is the epitome of lovely.  I envy the way she thinks about things and the way she phrases them. So poignant and beautiful. Those kids and parents are beyond lucky to have her as their teacher.

Lately, Meg and I have been in hog heaven being so much closer to each other after her move. It’s really only about 10 minutes closer but we’re acting like we live next door to each other. It’s delightful to have her pop over whenever.

They just left after hanging out here for bit to escape contractors at their house. I did a puzzle with the Mia, while Luca crawled everywhere and squawked at Finn, who was annoying him. Finn and Mia had orange juice popsicles I made in these popsicle molds.

“This is the good part" I thought after they left. “This is why I love my life.”

Simple pleasures, like living near cousins.

Even though I’m mentally back to blogging, I haven’t been doing so because of all of the end of year school craziness and the pretty weather which begs to be frolicked in.

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Blame It On The Rain

The weather in Denver has been Seattle like lately and should remain the same for the rest of the week. (Although this morning it was snowing when I woke up. Wha?) While I love the rain, It’s interesting the feelings it brings back of when we lived in Washington. I’ve actually been anxious wondering “Will it STAY like this??” The dreariness is oppressive. We lived there for about 4 years and I never got used to it. While living there I heard people say all kinds of things about how long it takes to “get used to it.” I kept waiting for the moment I was “used to it.” Never happened.

Sometimes I play this little game of what I would do differently if we lived there again. (Full disclosure: It could happen someday.)  I would have my shrink on speed dial (duh), have light boxes in every room, live in a house made of windows, and go somewhere warm and sunny at least once a winter.

Oh and also, I would buy some bright Hunter boots to cheer me up.

boots

Having said all of that, I love Seattle like a sibling that you are allowed to criticize but the second someone ELSE does you go all crazy and freak out on them. It really is a glorious place and I’ve met some of my favorite people there.

I would like to change my Thursday Loves from yesterday. I am officially over HJ playing and singing all of the damn day. Yes she is still the most darling little sprite but I’m starting to hate “Let it Be” which is like sacrilege, right? She needs to learn a new song.

Also, I have decided that people who hate Glee are hysterical and make valid points. My love will continue but I ain’t mad atcha.

In other news, I’m debating taking a blog break. It feels like work lately and I’m not feeling remotely funny or interesting. You know it’s bad when you’re even boring yourself. snoooooooooooooooze.

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Still Life

Ok, so our little jaunt to Utah was lovely. Exhausting but lovely. To be able to take time out and be with my mom and my girl was so wonderful and necessary.

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I had never been to Utah. So so so pretty. Really. Provo is nestled right in the mountains. It was beautifully distracting.  

Mom, HJ and I hit up the three ‘must eat’ places that Justin suggested, which delighted me to no end because 1) I love to cross things off my list and 2) i love good non-chain food.

We went to Rooster for dinner, then Communal for lunch the next day and Pizzeria 712 for dinner that night. I was delighted to see artwork by Nikki McClure on the walls at Rooster.

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These places did not disappoint! Delicious. I was so proud of Hadley. She was so adult about all of it. At Communal, she just sidled up to the chef at the bar and promptly wrapped him around her little finger until he made her pasta with butter. So sweet.

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AND…I would like to publicly thank PGP for insisting that he put some GPS thingy on my phone. I went nuts with that thing and was SO glad to have had it.

The photo session was awesome. Charismatic and super sweet Justin Hackworth rules. He was immediately like a great friend or family even. Hadley LOVED him as he spoke “quirky kid” fluently and was so patient and sweet with our rare bird.

His office and studio space would have told me he ruled even before I met him. Tons of light (bien sur), high ceilings, a piano, huge comfy couch & good tunes (blind pilot).

In fact, this couch shot makes me laugh because Justin was actually shooting my mom at the time. I saw this poofy, comfy leather couch and collapsed while I was waiting for my turn. Hadley played on the piano nearby. All of a sudden, Justin says “Ok, stay there. Don’t move.” and starts taking pictures of me, exactly as I had sat down in a rumpled mess on the couch.

This is what I’m doing most days:

Justin Hackworth Photography

Here are some others that I just loved…The guy can do no wrong. I would also like to point out that I’ve been trying REALLY hard to be objective and look at these as the art that they are instead of nitpicking every little thing I dislike about myself. …sigh…it’s a process.

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This one of me and Hadley is probably my absolute favorite. It makes my heart hurt for so many reasons…I love it.

Justin Hackworth Photography

Justin Hackworth Photography

Justin Hackworth Photography

This is the paparazzi shot. Love it. We were walking by this funky mural when he shot it. I know I know…you’re thinking “funky in Provo?” but there is some funk. It’s like newly sprouted funk but it’s there. Justin’s on a committee to bring the funk to Provo. For reals. He could totally do it.

I was so excited to be a part of his 30 Strangers project. Here is the link to our day if you haven’t seen it. I love checking out the new shots every few days.

THANK YOU AGAIN TO JUSTIN HACKWORTH! You’re OUR new favorite person, too.

In other news, my LAST surgery is TODAY! Woo hoo! Yes, that’s right kids, mama’s getting knipples. (remember I changed the spelling to avoid the pervs)

Like an idiot, I agreed to surgery at 2:45 so no food or drink from 6am on. ARGH. I keep swishing water around in my mouth and then spitting it out.

The procedure should take about 90 minutes and the recovery time should be minimal. Bring it on.

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