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Weekend Loves

I sit here uncomfortable but sort of amused because I hurt my right boob/implant passionately playing the Wii with Finn.

It’s funny, right?

But, Ow. IT HURTS.

Let’s get on with some delicious bits from this week:

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- Le Love – go lose yourself in this blog for a while (the above image is the blog banner – I LOVE IT. How cute is that pic? It is inspiring me to be more loving and spontaneous) The writing is beautiful and thoughtful. 

- When cars flash their lights to warn you that a cop is up ahead. It gives me a little thrill and sometimes I flash my lights back as if to say “10-4, good buddy”. Makes me feel like I’m part of something. It happened early this week and I waved too. Goob.

- Cadbury Mini Eggs arriving in the grocery stores for Easter. Yum.

- Hanging out with this girl on Thursday eve at her fabulous house and meeting her delightful friends, hugging the birthday ELK tight and noshing on goodies.

- Entertainment Weekly arriving in my mailbox every Saturday like clockwork. It’s crack for this pop culture obsessed girl. .

- Looking at pictures of my people when they were babies. Life was so different then. Not easier, just different. I find it helps me be a better mama to look back and remember. Plus, they’re really friggin cute and I smile remembering that Peter and I made two delicious human cupcakes!

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- Perusing photos on The Selby. I could get lost here for hours. The photos are fantastic. The one below of artist Meryl Smith’s home kept me transfixed for a while just checking everything out. I have a love of framed bugs. (Even though the clutter makes me anxious) Also, mark my words, Hadley’s house will be like this when she has one. Animals? Check. Artistically brilliant? Check. Unique? Check. Chaos? Check. Genius? Absolutely.

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And Sally Stringer of Vogue in her NYC apartment. Delicious Whimsy. Be sure to read the Q&A at the end of each photo shoot too. Very interesting.

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- Eating cold vanilla frosting straight from the tub while watching Big Love. Hello decadence.

- 100 Skills Everyone Should Master from Mighty Girl definitely speaks to my love of lists but I also really liked the content.  I sailed through most of it smiling because I have done them or could do them but stopped cold at #65.

Deliver a Eulogy.

That was one that I would have been really happy to have not done. However, I re-read the eulogy that A,M,N and I wrote for Dad from time to time and am always proud of what we wrote and delivered.

Here’s hoping your weekend was everything you hoped it would be and more.

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Eyes Barely Open

sleepy 

                                           +++

Just.So.Tired.

Perhaps it’s the weather?

Everything aches.

I had every intention of posting Thursday Loves today but it just wasn’t meant to be. Very busy shuttling the blue eyed devils to and fro and sleeping.

Must sleep more.

I’ll make it “Weekend Loves” instead. And it’ll be good. Sort of like Kathy Griffin’s memoir that I inhaled in 2 days, but different.

Hope you’re cozy and warm.

Bonne Nuit.

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And It Was All Yellow

I loved this Vera Wang dress from the moment I saw it at the 2006 Academy Awards. I loved everything about Michelle Williams in the dress too. The hair. The lips. The necklace. Simply stunning. No other dress has stayed in my mind like this one.

The image of her in it pops into my head from time to time when pretty thoughts are running through my brain. It’s always a welcome image.

ADDED LATER: After posting this, I was perusing Go Fug Yourself and Jessica mentions this dress. Funny.

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Also, on a totally separate note, I have been trolling craigslist hoping and praying that this Saarinen oval table just pops up for a reasonable price. Big fat chance. I know. Stop laughing. However, it’s fun to look. (This is part of my goal to make this house more “Mine” and less “Look! Joann Fabrics and Suburbia got drunk and threw up all over your house!!!”)

People will sell ANYTHING, which makes me laugh.

1. No one wants your gross waterbed. Not even for $50. No one.

2. Or your pilly, stained bean bag, Gary.

2. The term “mid century modern” is WAY overused. This couch is NOT mid century modern, MFers. Not even close.

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3. The chair you bought for cheap at a garage sale, painted a fun green color and then reupholstered the seat with funky fabric does NOT make it “vintage”, Lynette. It just doesn’t. Bless your heart.

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Thursday Loves

Croissants – all day. Can’t. Get. Enough. In the morning with Nutella and my delicious cup of tea. For lunch with Havarti, avocado, lettuce and tomato + fruit on the side, and then perhaps half of one for an afternoon snack with jam and tea. Bring on the croissant!

The Young Victoria – This movie was so beautiful. Emily Blunt is stunning as Victoria and the love story between Victoria and Albert is so lovely. Escapism at its best.

Tim Walker = supreme photographer. How great is this photo? I was thoroughly enchanted when I saw it and just kept staring at it.

TimWalker

I recently subscribed to this service called Relish Relish to help me overcome my deep hatred of dinnertime and cooking in general. And I have to say…it’s working! It’s only been one week but I’ve loved everything I’ve made. The site makes it so easy. You pick the recipes for the week, it spits out a grocery list and voila. I’m also trying to make a conscious effort to be more present when cooking, and ENJOY it. It’s an ongoing process…

Peter bought me this for Christmas and IT RULES. I had wanted it for a while but it just seemed too spendy for a body scrub. I love the stuff and am rationing it like nobody’s business. My skin is very happy.

Sleep. It’s just so good. I am trying to put aside time to nap EVERY day. Life with lupus is just easier when I make that happen.

Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs – the movie. When this came out, I staged my own mini boycott and wouldn’t take the kids because the movie deviated from the book, which the kids and I love. However, I caved and we rented it last week for family movie night. It’s hysterical. The voice casting is spot on and so funny. Mr. T voices a character. It’s just so good. Peter and I were dying laughing. We ended up buying it. When I bought the DVD, the cashier and I were chatting. She was telling me how much she likes it too. I said “I know! It’s really funny. Casting Mr. T was sheer brilliance.”

“Who?” she said.

Oh.

36 year old mother leaves feeling very very old.

End scene.

This photo prompted me to put Harold and Maude on the top of my Netflix queue.

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pic from sfgirlbybay

 

Sigh…

And this just made me laugh. And laugh. And laugh. Read it out loud. It’s been making the rounds online lately.

hores

Wishing you a sparkly Thursday. I’m going to buy myself some flowers just because. And probably take a nap. And then have drinks with my cute neighbors.

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Summah Lovin’

Just seeing this picture makes me ache for summertime. And Washington, where we would pick blueberries, raspberries and blackberries. Walking Hadley to kindergarten from our house, I would only let her pick blackberries on the walk home to eat, because otherwise she’d show up at school a total mess.

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No big plans for the weekend. I like it that way. The Lupus Foundation of Colorado is coming to pick up a donation on Tuesday, so most of the weekend will consist of me digging around in Peter’s things asking “what is this? I’m getting rid of it!”

Here’s my little tip: Whenever an organization calls to ask if you have anything to donate say “yes” and then you have a deadline to get some things together to donate. I need deadlines.

And purging makes me happy. (The best part is that I’m not supposed to be lifting anything over 5 lbs so there will lots of directing and delegating, which is an area where I excel.)

You can donate to the Lupus Foundation by clicking here.

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Thursday Loves

I’m dragging this week.

I know, I know, for those of you who are sick of my illness blather and ailments, feel free to flee. I totally understand. I’M sick of myself.  I’ll wait.

Ok, so for the rest of you, it’s true. Been draaaaaaggggingggg ass. Oy. Lupus does not like my period so as an extra special treat, the week before I am due to start, she unleashes her wrath and siphons all of the energy from my body.

It blows.

But then it stops and all of the other fun begins. You know the period business. Which as all women know, is a freaking sweet vacation!

Throw in that last night I had the WORST attack of Restless Leg Syndrome and didn’t really sleep. (they call is “the jimmylegs” on wikipedia, which is fantastic.) Anyway, RLS is the worst. It’s totally bizarre. I’ve had it for as long as I can remember. I just never knew what it was. (Same with my Raynaud’s). My brain and body want to sleep but my legs are auditioning to be a Rockette. Hard core. Seriously. Peter says it’s brutal sleeping next to me. Even though I take a sleeping pill, it blows through that and won’t allow the much needed sleep. Such a weird sensation. I get up and stretch and do some yoga and streeetch some more. Sometimes it helps. Sometimes it doesn’t.

Plus, sleeping is precarious because of my boobages. I’m supposed to be on my back.

:::::SIGH::::::

Anyway, helping me carry on is the delicious Peter Provost, who hugs me and tells me to breath and says to treat myself gently and rest. That he’ll take care of things.  Is that weird that just once I want him to be like “Where’s my turkey pot pie, bitch?” Just to show that he IS human? I keep trying to think of things to do to thank him. Nothing seems like enough though. A blog post for another day. I’m getting too deep up in here.

On to Thursday Loves and finding happy inspiration:

  • TEENS! (I’m at Panera again while Finn is at karate next door) I’m not kidding, a gaggle of teens just sat down next to me, and it’s taking everything I have not to gleefully smile at them and gawk. (They can’t see my screen, obvs) Ok, so there are 2 guys and 1 girl. The two guys are talking about how someone told one of the guys he was fat. They’re discussing it. Seriously, this is like a gift. (Squeal squeal) My ultimate dream would be if they broke out into song a la Glee.  I just love to take in the teen-ness of them. The energy. What they talk about. How they dress. How they interact. I feel like I’m on a safari watching wild animals. Literally, I could be crouching in the bushes with binoculars. (Shout out to CTM for teen love!)

 

  • My Camelbak water bottle. Can’t. Get. Enough. Water. Or lotion or Burts Bees. I love you Colorado, but you are dry, my friend.

 

  • Atticus, always my trusty companion, and most devoted friend…even though I had to holler at him two nights ago because I could hear his snoring through my earplugs.

 

  • Reading reading and more reading. I finished The Lovely Bones again and had different feelings about the ending than I originally did. Don’t want to spoil anything for anyone but I am available for discussion. I also finished Agassi’s autobiography OPEN. I’m not a big tennis aficionado so during the really tennis-y parts I admit I’d start thinking about cheese or something equally delicious. It was an interesting glimpse into a troubled, supremely talented man’s life. I’m glad he has reached some level of peace. While reading it, I was blown away that it wasn’t written with anyone else.  Well, come to find out not only was it written with someone else, but with the Pulitzer prize winner, JR Moehringer, author of The Tender Bar, yet another book on an endless list of books I want to read. Agassi does say in the book that Moehringer didn’t want his name on the cover of the book. He said it was Agassi’s story. So, it’s not like Agassi was trying to be sneaky. The Art of Simple Food by Alice Waters sits by unopened as does The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and Driving Sideways, a novel by Jess Riley. I was drawn to Driving Sideways because the main character has chronic health issues. Always interesting to see how that is portrayed.

 

  • Lonny magazine – an online magazine. Fantastic concept and great design. So intuitive. And I love how you can click on a product and are taken to where the item is sold. Nice. I’m interested to see if this is the way of the future for magazines. I will miss holding it in my hands. I’m a tactile person. I have ripped out magazine pages everywhere…

 

  • Speaking of products, I haven’t mentioned that I LOVE my FLOR rug!! It arrived and Finn and I put it together. (I like your puzzle rug, Mom. He said sweetly.)  I want to cover everything with FLOR rugs. It  makes me happy to stand back and look at it. I want them everywhere. It’s also inspired me to make other changes around the house. Our house was a model home in 2000. Need I say more? WALLPAPER!! If it’s good in one room, it’s good in ALL OF THEM! Gold fixtures everywhere! And billowy curtains! And valances! More valances! And tile with fruit in it! Fancy! It’s nice, just totally not me. At all. Ever. I should be happy that’s my only issue with the house and not something more dastardly. It’s new and lovely. The transformation is slow going. It’s just a lot to do. And there was that whole cancer thing. Some people are all excuses!

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  • Selah Sue – I can’t take my eyes or ears off this girl. Those are pics of her above. She’s a 19 year old singer/songwriter/musician from Belgium and has such a unique sound. And look at her. On her MySpace as soon as you open it up, all of the the videos launch. Annoying. Scroll down and pause them all except the first one on top left. It’s her singing “Raggamuffin” with Moby on drums. This is one of my favorites. She’s incredible.

 

  • When I picked Finn up from school today and he squealed with excitement and then yelled for all to hear ‘MAMA!!!! ARE YOUR BREASTS BETTER SO YOU CAN DRIVE NOW!?!??!’

 

  • The fact that some of my dream last night was in French as we were looking for an apartment in Paris. I woke up excited and then remembered. Oh.

 

  • The fact that every time I see Roman on Big Love, I think about how he was Andie’s dad in Pretty in Pink. Anybody else go down that road?

 

  • winning auctions on eBay. It still makes me feel like a bad ass.

Wishing you a fantastic Friday. Make it a good one.

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My Own Mini Dr. Dolittle

Hadley often says she wants more pets. And by “often” I mean every 7-9 minutes. She’s asked for EVERYTHING. I mean, EVERYTHING. Currently, we have Atticus, the 100 lb lab, and 4 fish. Finn is allergic to most animals (including Atticus – we figured this out when we got the rats, remember? They were cool but I do not miss them.) so I have the constant reminder of his allergy symptoms and pills to keep me from acquiring new animals. Plus, it’s really all I can handle.

Her love of animals is intense and sweet and real. Hadley has always told me she will eventually live in the country with all of her animals. I have promised to visit often. I’m relieved she has purchased a house in the country in her mind. When she was younger, she wanted a “house with wheels that she could live in with her cats and move whenever she wanted.”

Sweet Jesus, I thought. An RV? A trailer?

Keep breathing.

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Anyway, because of my child’s deep, deep, DEEP love of animals, I showed her The Daily Coyote last night. It’s the chronicles of a Wyoming woman who chose to raise a baby coyote after its parents were shot for killing sheep. It’s really fascinating, actually.

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Charlie in the beginning - photo from dailycoyote.net

I could hear Hadley’s brain cranking when she saw the first picture and I explained what it was.

She immediately hopped up and started pacing.

“How far away is Wyoming? It’s pretty close, isn’t it, Mom?”

pace.pace.pace.

“Mm Hmmm.” I say.

pace.pace.pace.

She must have abandoned that geographic though because she moved on quite quickly.

“So, Mom? If we were like, walking to the mailbox one day, and off to the side of the street there was a teeny, tiny baby fox or coyote or something, could we keep it?”

“No, sweetie. We would call a Wildlife Organization to help us –“

“BUT, what if it was really late at night and the baby animal was really helpless and –“

“We would still call a Wildlife Organization.” I said sweetly knowing exactly where this was going.

“BUT, what if the Wildlife Organization was closed for the day or for TWO days and the baby animal is crying, Mama??”

“Then we would keep it warm and safe until we could figure out what to do.”

She lit up.

“In my room!?!! Can I keep it in my room!!? Could we build something for it so it could live in my room with me for the two days?!!?”

“Ok, Hadley. Yes, if we happen to find a baby fox or coyote near the mailbox in suburbia, in the dead of night and no wildlife organization is available then you can keep it in your room for two days.”

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Charlie now with Shreve Stockton – photo from dailycoyote.net

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Put up your imaginary dukes

I am recovering well but tired, tired, tired. Saw the doc yesterday and all is well. He said I’m in the “Cinderella” phase because everything is swollen and looks plump and happy. As the swelling subsides, we’ll see what lurks.

They have me in this little number 24/7, except mine doesn’t zip up the front, it has a zillion little eye and hook fasteners. Awesome. It’s always coming unfastened and I have to close all of those tiny little hooks up again like some weird corset torture device.

Currently, I’m free-boobing it (I will be trade marking that) as I wash the thing. They really should give you two for crying out loud.

No pain meds but there is a dull aching. Perhaps some ibuprofen.

Ok, so on to my question of the day.

Do you ever have imaginary fights with people in your head? Mkay. I do. Occasionally.

Ok.

More frequently than that.

The latest is about…what else? My boobs.

It will be obvious to others that these perky suckers are not my own. They are high and pert and perfectly round. Hence, not the boobs belonging to a bedraggled, mother of two, anxiety ridden, 36 year old woman. Especially in a yoga top. I laughed when I put one on yesterday. BOOBS McGhee!

I know this is all ridiculous but bear with me….

So, in this pretend fight, which in my head happens somewhere I am wearing yoga clothes but also somewhere where an ignorant, judgmental person would be spewing venom so…who knows where we are.

Anyway…

The topic of boobs comes up (this person not knowing my situation) and I am ridiculed by said person for being a vain a-hole caught up with looks who would get a boob job just to look better.

This! This, my friends, is where I FREAK OUT! First of all, WHO CARES! I’ll do what I like with my body. Secondly, there is a full on snotty, finger pointing tirade at said person about how I HAD CANCER YOU FUCKER!!!!!!!!!

A-hem.

I know the answer. The answer is always “who cares what other people think?”

And you’re right. Or, I’m right. Er-

Who cares what other people think?

That’s it.

There are judgers everywhere, behind every corner, and certainly judging anything and everything they can about the way I live my life. Nothing I can do about it.

More than anything I just wanted to bring up the fight in your head thing because it can’t be only me. Well, I know someone else who suffers from this affliction but she’s related to me so that doesn’t count. We have crazy in our blood.

Here’s another example:

Coming home from surgery last Wednesday, it was freezing, blustery and dark. It was snowing and cold. Peter is driving me home and I’m hopped up on drugs and pain free. I see a woman holding a sign. I don’t even know what the sign says but I quickly deduce that she isn’t a scammer. A scammer wouldn’t stand in the cold.  I say “give me $5” to Peter. He does.

As we’re pulling up to her and I’m rolling down my window to give this woman money, the light turns green. The useless human being behind me HONKS. Loudly. Angrily.

Now, it wasn’t like I stayed to have a smoke with the woman. I handed her $5 said “Stay Warm” and we sped off. Yet this person, who I called “he” and turned out to be a “she” HONKED.

Really?

Wow.

She and I have been at it for days in my head.

Please forward any and all therapist recommendations my way.

In the meantime, have you heard/seen 2009 DJ Earworm remix? oh, delicious pop music…it’s like a sugary, poptastic IV straight into my veins…

 

Also, I will leave you with this fantastic tidbit from 30Rock.

Tina Fey says to Alec Baldwin “Why are you wearing a tuxedo?”

To which he replies “It’s after 6 – I’m not a farmer.”

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Better

I’m doing ok! There has been LOTS of sleeping and taking it easy, which is glorious. The pain is subsiding.

I have taken many peeks at my lady lumps and they’re cute! And soft! So soft! I just keep touching them. I am no longer the Boobinator, all hard and robotic. The 5 inch scar across each breast is now a 6 or 7 inch scar. Blargh. But whatevs.

I was able to take a shower yesterday, which was refreshing as there is nothing like surgery to make you feel like you’ve been camping in a dumpster.

My follow up is on Monday where he’ll probably change the dressings and talk about taking care of the scars.

I’m down to one Percocet every 4 hours and could probably wean off of them completely tomorrow. We’ll see.

My mom took the kids for the night and it is oh. so. quiet. She is the best for taking them. I am holed up in bed with books, mags, Season 3 of Big Love AND cake batter ice cream, bien sur.

Shout out to the girl with a broken heart. A genuine hug to you. Once my breasties heal, I am available for TPing the heartbreaker’s abode or other such shenanigans.

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Ouch

I went into yesterday’s surgery a little anxious but became comfortable once settled into the hospitaly things I have unfortunately become so comfortable with. Giving my medical history, changing into the gown and the socks with the grippy things on the bottom, the fabulous nurses, peeing in a cup, getting the IV.

There was lots of joking going on as I was being wheeled into the OR. I asked if they listened to music while they operated. They said they all liked Pandora. The day before was a big Green Day fest I was informed. A humming nurse leaned over, patted my hand and told me her name was Kate. We discussed the dark chilly weather seen out the OR window and how it looked like night, even though it was 8:30am. My anesthesiologist put in the magic juice and the next thing I knew I was in recovery. It is a scary ride for some but one that I have become comfortable with strangely. I felt dried tears on my cheek and wondered if I had cried or if liquid had just escaped my eyes.

My recovery nurse could have been a little sweeter but I eventually won her over.

I woke to SEARING pain in my right side. It sucked. Apparently, my expanders were migrating to my armpits, so when Dr. B put in the implants he had to stitch up on both sides of my chest so my saline implants wouldn’t try the same thing. (Why do boobs want to hide under the armpits?)

Leaving the hospital and when I boozily posted on Facebook last night, I was still under the delicious IV drugs that they give you at the hospital.

But then the pain started.

And it fucking hurt.

Especially the right side.

I think it is my history with lupus that makes me sort of immune to pain killers. It’s frustrating.

I barely slept and took everything and anything I could in my pain pill arsenal. Nothing was working. I was weepy.

Because all of the pain meds make me itchy, I took Benadryl and then finally my sleeping pill. I eventually dozed off about 1am only to be woken up every 30 minutes or so by the stabbing pains in the side of my chest.

Ugh.

So, here I lay at Noon on Thursday, trying not to move, and focusing on the fact that this pain is SO much better than the first surgery.

Yesterday I told my mom that a doctor I didn’t know walked by me when I was in recovery. He stopped after walking by me and turned around. He said ‘You can’t be sick, you’re smiling.’

I said “Oh, was I? How funny. I didn’t know I was. I guess I just feel lucky.”

And I do.

Thanks for all of the well wishes. It’s nice to feel loved.

PS- Shout out to Tay and the power of 4. You girls rule.

PSS- Today is supposed to be a Thursday Love day. Let’s just say that today my loves are silence, my bed, Percocet, my neighbor B,  and my most fabulous superhero husband.

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Many lovely medias

I’m going to try to be better about updating this here blog. “Try” being the operative word so don’t be getting all pissy and finger pointy if I don’t do it.

Lots of good things I’ve read or seen lately. Here they are in a list. (lists! lists! lists!)

Books:

Moose – a memoir of a girl at fat camp. While I couldn’t relate to the fat camp aspect, I found that totally interesting. I could relate to the perils of puberty and the crippling insecurity everyone feels at that time. I enjoyed her candid, conversational style of writing. Plus, the author and I are roughly the same age and her pop culture references had me laughing out loud.

Beautiful Boy – I devour non-fiction. I like to know things really happened. Dunno why. This is tragic and beautifully written.

OPEN – Andre Agassi’s autobiography. I know. Andre Agassi.  I was at the library just this morning and saw it so I’ve only read a few pages. I had heard from a few places that it was good. I opened it and started reading. He literally got me from the very beginning. That’s hard to do. Who knew he could write so well or that his life had been so heartbreaking? (looking forward to the salacious bits about other celebrities too….)

As I’ve said before, I go through phases where I freebase books. This is one of those times.

TV:

Anything I want to see, I’ll usually watch on my laptop, in the most fantastic bed ever.

Survivor finale was disappointing. Russell should have won. I was pissed. I was elated however, when NOTA won “The Sing Off”, so everything equals out. Go watch my favorite performance from the show.

Also, forgive me if I have already praised this show and I know I’m the last one to discover this but have you seen Party Down?? It rules. It was on Starz, which is unfortunate because what the hell channel is that anyway? However, if you love Arrested Development, this show will make you laugh.

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Speaking of Arrested Development, I’m watching the entire series again from the very beginning. It makes me giddy it’s so good. And now I desperately want to name something George Michael.

Movies:

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I rented Junebug and was so glad I finally saw it. It’s really fantastic. I had long heard Amy Adams was unbelievable in it and she is.  It was quiet and nothing really happens but so much does.  It’s beyond interesting. Fascinating really. So beautifully acted. Heartbreaking and enigmatic.  I loved it and was entranced. Plus, how great is the poster artwork?

I saw Up in the Air, which I liked. Anna Kendrick stole if for me. The director, Jason Reitman dealt with the subject well and wasn’t too heavy handed with anything. I like when the audience is given a little credit, instead of having everything laid out in order like a happy meal.  There were certain sequences with recently laid off people that were heart wrenching and very real. I wondered if they were scripted. I’m still on the fence about everyone FREAKING out about how amazing it is though.

I saw It’s Complicated and it was a fun romp. A Rom-Com for the Boomer generation. (AKA Old people can have sex, make bad decisions and act zany too) I didn’t have to think and that was why I went. Meryl was Meryl…luminous and funny and sweet and warm. Alec Baldwin was good per usual. I coveted Meryl’s character’s house. Good God.

I rented Food, Inc. and tried to watch it but gave up. I knew if i watched it, I would never eat again. Meg’s watching it and giving me the watered down notes.

Music

Music has been like water lately. Can’t. Get. Enough.  Loud and danceable are the requirements. Music is the remedy for everything isn’t it? As the surgery approaches I have constant music on pumping me up. I compare myself to a boxer or something, getting riled up before a fight. It’s sort of the same thing. Except I get sweet pain meds after my fight. Oh and new boobs.

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Bring It

EmilyDec2009 001 I had a lovely dinner out with my mom and sister tonight. The perfect dinner companions. I would include the picture of us at dinner but I don’t have it yet and even if I did I look like sasquatch and wouldn’t post it anyway. (this pic is from my lunch with CCC when he was in town from Atlanta. ::Sigh:: That visit was too short dear friend.)

Anyway, I was on the end in the picture. You know the person on the end and the one closest to the camera looks like a wildebeest. Mom and Meg are positively Lilliputian next to me. It was just all wrong.

They hassled me about not updating my blog frequently enough. That made me laugh. (I’m updating ladies!)  I have been slacking and relaxing. Just nothing to write about I guess. Or perhaps I’m just lazy.

Happy New Year to you! I am not really one for resolutions as I try every day to be better but i do have a few things in mind that I want to accomplish in 2010. One of them would simply be to not have any medical emergencies.

Please.

My next surgery is on Wednesday. I’m ready. Prescriptions are filled. Blood work is done. Hair is done. (Top priority in case they really are giving out the “best hair in surgery” award I’ve dreamed out. )

I’ve known Michael, my hair stylist, since i was like 16. Meg found him first. He calls himself my “brister” – combination of brother and sister.

Anyway, as he’s washing my hair, we were talking about my surgery and a new stylist walked in the room. Michael filled her on what we were talking about. (He cuts my mom’s hair too so he said ‘Remember Ellen? I told you about her. Well, this is HER daughter.’ – I hate being the one who has a story. Just once I’d love to be the girl without a story.)

So, the new stylist, who still has her coat on, says “Oh, it’s nice to meet you.” Before she came in, I had been telling Michael that I was going to show him. So when he’s done shampooing, I stand up and lift up my shirt.

You know she wasn’t expecting seeing that at work that day. Poor girl.

Michael was fascinated and appreciated the teaching moment.

And I proceed to stand there chit chatting nonchalantly as the two of them check out my weird, nipple less mounds. 

As my friend and neighbor B says, “they’re not boobs, they’re just hardware.” I may as well have been showing them my cell phone.

This is what mine look like.

Sort of creepy but I’m so used to it now and I’ve grown fond of them.

That picture is from a website called Myself: Together Again. It’s one woman’s struggle with breast cancer, chemo and then reconstruction and its well done.

You know it’s funny, when I think about it, this year has sucked. And yet, I can’t honestly remember a time when I’ve been happier or felt luckier.

Life is constantly throwing shit at you. It’s like this perpetual game of dodge ball. You’re bopping along, having fun, laughing with friends and then randomly get hit in the face. You pick yourself back up and get back in the game. (a sports analogy is such a stretch for me. I’m even surprising myself with it.)

As long as I’m with my friends and family though and keeping positive, life can be a really amazing.

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Looking forward to a delish brunch with an old same tomorrow morning at Beatrice and Woodsley. WIshing E&C could be there too.

AND….AND!! School starts back up on Monday! I might bring my left over champagne to celebrate at the bus stop. More on the blue eyed devils another time. They’re both excelling in loud talking and complaining about food choices.

Hope you have a relaxing Sunday…

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