I Gotta Feeling

I Gotta Feeling

(Funny side note: I use Windows Live Writer to post to my blog. In the space where you put your Post title it says “Enter a Post title”…looking at it this morning I swear it said “Enter a positive title”…Freudian. In a good way. Positive pervades these days.)

Hola.

On Monday we met with the plastic surgeon to go over everything for surgery and sign a million papers. On one hand, it was good because I like paperwork, directions and to do lists. That makes me feel in control. And plus, I heart my doc.

On the other hand, it was a little bit frightening because legally, they have to go over everything that COULD go wrong. Oy. I tried not to focus on that so much. I chose instead to bond with Dr. B’s awesome physician assistant, who had amazing skin, great style and perfect curls. She was very cool and kept saying things like “You’re going to do great!”, which fueled my confidence.

Still on the positive positiveness train. I’m not Pollyanna. I do have moments of fear and darkness but they are fleeting and I push past them. (Remember the mantra? I am strong. I am surrounded by love and light.)  Fear is destructive and unproductive. Instead I focus on all of the great things.

Also, helping me is the fact that I’m referring to my mastectomy as “the dinner party” in my head. You know when you have a dinner party you do a ton of things to get yourself ready and your house ready? That’s how I feel. I’m cleaning, organizing, making lists, etc for the house. For myself, I had my eyebrows waxed, eyelashes tinted, am getting a haircut and color the night before surgery, am getting a mani/pedi. I’m getting my “armor” ready. I’m going to feel awful after surgery. I may as well try to have everything else in tip top shape.

Side note: I was getting my hair cut and colored when I went into labor with Finn. Being my second child, I said calmly “I think I’m going into labor but keep going, I’m fine.” My hairdresser at the time’s husband worked there and ignorantly said “You’re not going to gush water all over, are you!?!?!?” I calmly replied “No.” She finished my hair, I drove home, called Peter and he came home and we went to the hospital. The whole thing was so civilized and calm. There could have been soft music and passed hors d’oeurves. I told anyone and everyone at the hospital that my hair was looking good for childbirth. I’m sure I’ll do the same this time. As if they’ll say “Wow, she’s the most well groomed gal we’ve ever had in the OR!” Although, secretly you know I hope they do.

The doc had to take “before pictures” and so there I am topless with leggings on, standing against a bright blue background. The whole thing felt very “American Apparel” ad campaign a few years ago. I awkwardly mentioned that fact and the doc was silent. He said “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Oh, ok, then. Awesome. Never mind.

You know what I’m talking about, right? Google American Apparel ad and you’ll see what I mean.  Here is an example of some of them. The models heads are sometimes cut off and it’s just a topless girl in leggings or something.

Anyhoo. Just an image that has stayed in my head and made me laugh.

I went to get pre-op blood work done yesterday so that is checked off my little list. I’m set. Friday cannot come soon enough.

I’m listening to lots and lots of music. It makes me feel strong and happy. My latest love is the poptastic, cheesefest that is Cobra Starship’s Good GIrls Gone Bad (feat. Leighton Meester)  Lots of Mika lately and that song “I Gotta Feeling” by the Black Eyed Peas is on constant rotation. The kids called it “guinea pig song” because it was in the movie G-Force.

Do something nice for someone today. It makes you feel good.