Partially Empty Nest

Partially Empty Nest

Peter is in Seattle this week and Hadley is in Asheville NC.

HJ made it safely into Grammy and Bompie’s loving arms, which allowed me to breath again. She, or course, was fine and the flight was fine. When we talked to her that night said said “So, how ARE you?” like we were the 7 year olds who had flown 3 hours across the country for the first time.

Peter and I laughed.

We asked her what she did on the flight and she said “I mostly listened to music and drew.”  Peter gave her his iPod shuffle and I loaded it with music she loves.

Then she said she had to go because she and her cousin were catching fireflies.

Getting.Bigger.Every.Minute.

As if to punish myself I have been looking at pictures of her when she was teeny tiny.

I knew from our first few moments together that she would be fine in life. That sounds so cliché but I really did. Even as a very very small person, she gave off this aura of “Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine.”

My little rare bird.

So, it’s just me and Finn here.

He is at school in the morning every day. So I have all of this time.

I am relishing it and trying not to busy myself doing every little thing. I’m recharging for our trip on Sunday and just generally taking it easy.

It has been so cool to have Finn all to myself. We have been playing and it is so good for HIM to be in charge. For HIM to come up with ideas and execute them. Normally, sister holds tightly onto her control over him and basically he does whatever she says.

Plus, with all of my attention focused on him, he’s being SO GOOD!

Having it be just be the two of us, I often find myself staring at him. Taking in all of the fabulous things that make him Finn.

This morning he said to me (again) while eating his breakfast, without looking up, “Mom, stop staring at me. You keep staring at me.”

I told him “I’m staring at you because I love you and I think you’re great.”

“Oh” he says “ok, but stop staring at me.”

 

PS- Big ups to PGP for fixing my spacing problem!! Yippeee!

 

*drawing by patricia dorr parker