Nothing New

I’m sick. Stuffed up, can’t breath, in bed, wiped out, sick.

What started as sniffles has progressed quickly into a whole bunch of garbage.

I just keep thinking “really?” I have cancer and am going to get my boobs cut off because of it.

Really? This is the time I need to be sick? Isn’t there some guy in Scranton who could have used this cold more than me?

Blech.

I am doing ok, I guess. I’m scared. Mostly about recovery. How long it will take me. The expanders they will put in. The strange sensation of not having my own breasts anymore.

I also have a request. Not that I know anyone who would do this because anyone who knows me well enough wouldn’t but…Please refrain from sending me anything breast cancer related. By that, I mean any kind of pink ribbon stickers or “I beat Cancer” baseball hat, or a figurine that has a breast cancer ribbon on it, or a car magnet. Anything like that. #1 I hate things like that. #2 This is something horrible that I will get through, it does not define me. I will not be defined by this.

Anyway, one thing I’m looking forward to is that on September 1 my cell phone contract is up with AT&T! I will finally be released from the claws of the devil.

I can’t get cell coverage in MY OWN HOME or really anywhere in a 10 mile radius surrounded my home, which is awesome because I never need to use my phone in those areas. (WTF???) There have been times when important results needed to be relayed over that freaking phone and I had problems. There have been times when I have helplessly watched my phone ring in my house and haven’t been able to pick it up.  I really want to set my phone on fire in front of an AT&T store cursing their existence…but I won’t. I will dutifully recycle my old phone.

That is all.

2 comments:

Sheri Nugent | August 26, 2009 at 6:19 AM

Hey Emily -
I had to laugh. I HATE that Pink Breast Cancer stuff. Mixers and spatulas and shit. Hate it. Why would you want daily reminders of cancer in your house? Does this make me insensitive? I don't think so. Glad you feel the same.

I have a friend who just went through what you're going through. Her recovery was FAST. She blogged about it. Warning: she is VERY religious... so there's lots of God-talk on her blog. But she's very sweet and describes in detail how she felt up to and after the surgery. I am encouraged by that for you - except, of course, you have the extra fun of lupus. If you want to read her story, her blog is http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/maryleighjohnson.

Her surgery was about a month ago, I think.

Feel better soon.

Sheri

Anonymous | August 26, 2009 at 10:27 AM

You are most certainly not defined by cancer my dear. YOU are defined by dignity, grace, and the most wicked sense of humor I've ever known.

Now, I must go return the pink "Stomp out Breast Cancer" slippers I bought for you. (hee hee).

Love you more than you may even know,
Meg